Today was one of those days................. when my boss really got on my nerves, and it was really hard to have warm Christian thoughts, and to bless him was really not something that readily came to mind, in fact that was really on my mind, was a large cement truck, or perhaps a hit man, or perhaps some wrong medication or perhaps..................the man is sick.
He will almost do anything to make people unhappy, without exaggerating he must have gone through at least 50 people in the 15 years that i have worked with him, they really do not stay beyond a few months because by then they have had enough, he has a temp for six month and still will not take them on permanently ........ can you believe because they are not doing the job properly so they leave for a permanent job, and so the process is repeated time and time again. Top management has not noticed this problem, or maybe they don't want to notice.
I am not sure whether all Muslims are like him, but he really gives Muslims a bad name he is vindictive, petty, unrealistic and these are his good attributes.
For the first time in 5 years i was off sick i left on the Wednesday at 2 pm and then was booked off for the next two days, i was REALLY sick, i have only had 8 days sick in 10 years so i am not someone who takes a lot of time off work, he actually had the computer guy check what time i left to see if i should put in a half days sick leave, do you even get half days sick leave........me............... i am at work just after 7 am most days, don't take lunch, do at least three hours overtime most weekends, and am always at work............. if anyone wants anything they always phone me, because i am always at me desk............. the man is sick............
It is only through prayer and the grace of God that i have managed to stay working with him for 15 years, in the beginning it was really hard, but a really good friend, kind, of gave me a kick in the pants and told me to leave or find a way to put up with it, and thats what i did, and how i did that was when he asked for something i dropped what i was doing and gave it to him immediately........it is still a big joke in the office, for him it is just the power thing, it is the being in control...............
For many years i was always able to go and vent in the MD's office in confidence i really didn't want him to do anything, and he certainly could not speak to my boss about it because then he would have made my life a living hell, so he listened gave me tea and tissues and then gave me a pep talk and i could face the world of the dreaded boss from hell.
Our most recent MD certainly does not have tact as a second , third or fourth name for that matter. So now i have to find another way to vent, and apart form bending the ear of my "bestest" friend in the whole world......... i think blogging will have to do..........
And this is what got my blood pressure boiling today, my cheeks were tomato red and i am sure at sometime there was steam coming out of my ears, in fact i though that i was going to self combust, and all that would be left would be smoke coming out of my shoes............... my Five Hundred Rand shoes.........
The MD asked me some time ago to set up an evaluation test, for someone in my department that he wants to promote, my boss phones me today and asks me whether i knew about it, of course i said yes, i had organised it................ well you would have thought that i had sold a state secret. ................ FIRST TIME
Then he phoned, now you need to understand i have identicall on my phone so i can see when he is phoning so my heart sinks into my shoes, and i am already waiting for a fight......... sometimes i put him on silent praying that he will just go away but then he just leaves a message, and actually times how long is takes me to phone him back...................... he asked whether i knew that a certain member of my staff had gone to the MD with a query, i did know because that was the only person who could give us an answer, of course being the smart tactful MD that he is, guess where he went straight to my boss, now by boss has told this individual on more than one occassion, not to bother him but to bring all queries to me......... i could not sort out this query and so refered him to the operations manager who was again not available, then to the divisional director who would not remember what his only name was, if it was not on all the notes on his desk pad, and so the MD was the next place of call...............and so the cycle continues, by now my boss was so mad, that you would have thought that i had blown up the temple at Mecca...................................SECOND TIME.
Then he phoned again, i had sent some documents up to him for coding...............i have been doing this for 15 years the less i need to talk to him the better i like it, now he wants me rather to go up myself, because we need to communicate more...................... THIRD TIME.
I have a meeting with him every Friday and i have to prepare myself mentally for this meeting, and now he wants to see me more often ................ what am i going to do................................
I suppose that i am blessed i have a job.................................... well that's a start and with God's grace i will get through it again, and one day.................. who knows "beep beep."....... taht cement truck could still be an option.
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Peroni and the bird
About 4 months ago, i got home from work one day and our Labrador Levy had found a kitten, it was in a really sorry state, its eyes were all gundged up, it was full of flees, it was so thin, and wet through because Levy had been trying to lick it to death.
Well off to the vet we went, and after injections and medicines, and flea powder and antibiotics, we had a new cat. Which for a while was just called cat because we could not agree on a name.
This little kitten was wild it was about 2 weeks before you could pick it up without it trying to attack you, and if you just walked past it, it would hiss at you and then dive for cover. But as the weeks went past it learnt to accept us, and its name became Peroni. What was amazing to see was the bond between Levy and Peroni, Peroni would only sleep curled up next to Levy, and it would follow Levy around like a small child were follow a bigger brother and sister. If Peroni got locked out at night by accident, Levy would wake me up to go and let him in, it was really amazing to see.
About three weeks ago Peroni was sick so off to the vet we went again, we thought it was because he had been catching birds the vet assured us that he was still to young to catch birds.............. and that it must have been our other cat ............... ha ha .............. he lied.
I arrived home last night to a bathroom that looked like the chainsaw murdered had been let loose in it, i never realised that one bird had so many feathers, it was wall to wall feathers, the side of the bath was covered in blood where the poor bird had obviously tried to escape at the beginning of the masacre................. there was pieces of bird all over the bath room as my daughter was helping me clean up the mess she assured me that it had not been there five minutes before i got home.............. i wonder, the poor thing still had bird seed in its stomach, the sad part is i put out the bird seed. So this weekend it is off to the pet shop to get a collar with a bell on so that the bird at least has a fighting chance.
I must feel guilty about feeding the birds, it is almost like i am luring them to their death, and i am part of this awful murdering rampage the cat Peroni went on....................
Well off to the vet we went, and after injections and medicines, and flea powder and antibiotics, we had a new cat. Which for a while was just called cat because we could not agree on a name.
This little kitten was wild it was about 2 weeks before you could pick it up without it trying to attack you, and if you just walked past it, it would hiss at you and then dive for cover. But as the weeks went past it learnt to accept us, and its name became Peroni. What was amazing to see was the bond between Levy and Peroni, Peroni would only sleep curled up next to Levy, and it would follow Levy around like a small child were follow a bigger brother and sister. If Peroni got locked out at night by accident, Levy would wake me up to go and let him in, it was really amazing to see.
About three weeks ago Peroni was sick so off to the vet we went again, we thought it was because he had been catching birds the vet assured us that he was still to young to catch birds.............. and that it must have been our other cat ............... ha ha .............. he lied.
I arrived home last night to a bathroom that looked like the chainsaw murdered had been let loose in it, i never realised that one bird had so many feathers, it was wall to wall feathers, the side of the bath was covered in blood where the poor bird had obviously tried to escape at the beginning of the masacre................. there was pieces of bird all over the bath room as my daughter was helping me clean up the mess she assured me that it had not been there five minutes before i got home.............. i wonder, the poor thing still had bird seed in its stomach, the sad part is i put out the bird seed. So this weekend it is off to the pet shop to get a collar with a bell on so that the bird at least has a fighting chance.
I must feel guilty about feeding the birds, it is almost like i am luring them to their death, and i am part of this awful murdering rampage the cat Peroni went on....................
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Master of my own life
Today was one of those days which just started off right, I spent some quality time with my Lord this morning and just know that i really connected, i had a peaceful quiet journey into work, just praising the Lord for his amazing creation, and the beauty of the season, the weather was cold the wind was blowing, the sky was grey, really unusual for a South African winter, as are skies are normally always bright blue even when it is cold. But in someway is was just comforting, the stillness and darkness of the morning.
It made me want to sit by a roaring fire, with a glass of wine and with someone who i could feel free to share my deepest secrets with, that "someone" is not in my life right now, but i know that he will be, that it is my right to have someone who will always just be there for me.
I realised that my joy depends on me, and i cannot hold anyone else accountable for how i feel. If i allow someone to bring me down, then i have given then power over me, and then that gives them the ability to hurt me.
I am so fortunate, no i am so blessed to have so many really good friends, who i know will always be there for me, should i ever need a shoulder to cry on, someone to share coffee with as i plot someones demise, someone to laugh at "wind" jokes with, someone to share a meal with, i know that i could never be lonely, because i have all these people who i care about and who care about me.
Then i realised that is really what life is all about it is not about the car you drive, the house you live in the amount of money you have in your bank account, it is about how many people in your contacts on your cell phone that you can really call friend.
As a child i was tall, skinny and very shy, i was very "nerdy" i was a prefect, a junior town councillor, but never one of the in crowd, never one of those that people missed if you were not there, never visible, if i look at my own daughters they are just so confident, and are able to talk to anyone, of any age or any race or any culture, i am not sure at what point in time, i began to change, at what point i began to like who i was, began to hold my head up high and be noticed, who would have thought just a few years ago that i would be standing up in front of 40 to 60 people and giving motivational messages, and i know that this is because my friends saw in me, something that i could not see, in fact something that i still cannot see, they encouraged me when i doubted myself.
To those people i call friends thank you for being in my life, thank you for listening, thank you for being someone i can call friend........................
It made me want to sit by a roaring fire, with a glass of wine and with someone who i could feel free to share my deepest secrets with, that "someone" is not in my life right now, but i know that he will be, that it is my right to have someone who will always just be there for me.
I realised that my joy depends on me, and i cannot hold anyone else accountable for how i feel. If i allow someone to bring me down, then i have given then power over me, and then that gives them the ability to hurt me.
I am so fortunate, no i am so blessed to have so many really good friends, who i know will always be there for me, should i ever need a shoulder to cry on, someone to share coffee with as i plot someones demise, someone to laugh at "wind" jokes with, someone to share a meal with, i know that i could never be lonely, because i have all these people who i care about and who care about me.
Then i realised that is really what life is all about it is not about the car you drive, the house you live in the amount of money you have in your bank account, it is about how many people in your contacts on your cell phone that you can really call friend.
As a child i was tall, skinny and very shy, i was very "nerdy" i was a prefect, a junior town councillor, but never one of the in crowd, never one of those that people missed if you were not there, never visible, if i look at my own daughters they are just so confident, and are able to talk to anyone, of any age or any race or any culture, i am not sure at what point in time, i began to change, at what point i began to like who i was, began to hold my head up high and be noticed, who would have thought just a few years ago that i would be standing up in front of 40 to 60 people and giving motivational messages, and i know that this is because my friends saw in me, something that i could not see, in fact something that i still cannot see, they encouraged me when i doubted myself.
To those people i call friends thank you for being in my life, thank you for listening, thank you for being someone i can call friend........................
Monday, June 8, 2009
Winter is here
I just live winter i love the cold mornings and the cold evenings. i love the soups and the cottage pies and the stews. I love the fact that you can wear long sleeves and jackets.
Our minister always says that we are born in a place for a reason, and i was born in England because i enjoy the cold, even after 41 years in South Africa i still don't enjoy the heat.
I feel like a water fountain in summer and overheat at the drop of a hat, then get bright red cheeks like only the British can, and spend most of summer looking like a giant red wet tomatoe.
The worst time for me is Christmas because it is never feels like Christmas my first Christmas's were cold with fires in the fireplace treacle toffee and roasted chestnuts, and then off we would go to Gran for Christmas dinner, all i remember about that is the gravy was like a jelly and you would have to fish for your food because Gran never did anything in half measures
so you got a good dollop of this stuff she called gravy.........................
We would play outside, not in the snow very often but i do remember a white Christmas, i remember my Dad waking us all up and outside we went to a world of white.
Braai's for Christmas just don't do it for me...................
But the winter reminds me of our lives how this is the time to reflect on what we have done in the past year, and make plans to better what we have done in the year ahead, the hope of better things to come, the chance of new beginnings, and how the coldness of our hearts can florish and bloom come the spring. How even though our relationships have grown cold and seem dead, that in God all things are possible, and maybe just maybe if we change ourselves then God will make the changes in our partner, maybe not all the changes we want, but changes that our partners can make to make our lives better together, that is what i am praying for because right now my marraige is dead and cold, and it is only the promise of a spring that keeps me going....................
Our minister always says that we are born in a place for a reason, and i was born in England because i enjoy the cold, even after 41 years in South Africa i still don't enjoy the heat.
I feel like a water fountain in summer and overheat at the drop of a hat, then get bright red cheeks like only the British can, and spend most of summer looking like a giant red wet tomatoe.
The worst time for me is Christmas because it is never feels like Christmas my first Christmas's were cold with fires in the fireplace treacle toffee and roasted chestnuts, and then off we would go to Gran for Christmas dinner, all i remember about that is the gravy was like a jelly and you would have to fish for your food because Gran never did anything in half measures
so you got a good dollop of this stuff she called gravy.........................
We would play outside, not in the snow very often but i do remember a white Christmas, i remember my Dad waking us all up and outside we went to a world of white.
Braai's for Christmas just don't do it for me...................
But the winter reminds me of our lives how this is the time to reflect on what we have done in the past year, and make plans to better what we have done in the year ahead, the hope of better things to come, the chance of new beginnings, and how the coldness of our hearts can florish and bloom come the spring. How even though our relationships have grown cold and seem dead, that in God all things are possible, and maybe just maybe if we change ourselves then God will make the changes in our partner, maybe not all the changes we want, but changes that our partners can make to make our lives better together, that is what i am praying for because right now my marraige is dead and cold, and it is only the promise of a spring that keeps me going....................
Sunday, June 7, 2009
Sunday, I love Sundays
I realised in my quiet time this morning how God answered my prayers, last week i was saying how i would love to have someone give me flowers, well this weekend i got two bunches, the first from all my friends at work, because i have been sick and away from work for ONE DAY......... they love me what can i say, and the second bunch from my prayer buddy, who when we got together for our prayer hour brought me the most unusual flowers, which just happen to look great in my dining room, it was only this morning that i realised they were an answer to a prayer, God loves me and gave me a gift to show me I am on the right path............... i have been very uncertain about a lot of things lately, but the gift of these flowers show me that the Lord is watching over me and i am doing something right.
I woke up this morning and DECIDED that i was tired of feeling sick, so told myself i was not sick, i got up went to church amazing service our minister is back, and as usual the message was great, i helped with the coffee shop after the first and second services, i forgot how many dishes there were, i never realised our congregation was so big, at one point i was convinced that the person who was supposed to packing the dishes away was giving me them to wash again and again and again and again........................................... so much for the manicure that i had yesterday, my hand are back to old and rough, i think i should invest in some gloves, because i looks like there will be quite a lot of dishes in my future, next week a few of us are organising a 21st for 60 people, so it will be more dishes, i tried to convince them to use my camping trick, which is putting a paper plate on top of the normal plate and then you don't have to wash the plates, well i must say that was not received very well, so i suppose it is going to be dishes, dishes , dishes next weekend.
What i cannot believe is that "helps" is not one of my gifts, "leadership" is one so maybe it is time to delegate can you do that in church...........................
I woke up this morning and DECIDED that i was tired of feeling sick, so told myself i was not sick, i got up went to church amazing service our minister is back, and as usual the message was great, i helped with the coffee shop after the first and second services, i forgot how many dishes there were, i never realised our congregation was so big, at one point i was convinced that the person who was supposed to packing the dishes away was giving me them to wash again and again and again and again........................................... so much for the manicure that i had yesterday, my hand are back to old and rough, i think i should invest in some gloves, because i looks like there will be quite a lot of dishes in my future, next week a few of us are organising a 21st for 60 people, so it will be more dishes, i tried to convince them to use my camping trick, which is putting a paper plate on top of the normal plate and then you don't have to wash the plates, well i must say that was not received very well, so i suppose it is going to be dishes, dishes , dishes next weekend.
What i cannot believe is that "helps" is not one of my gifts, "leadership" is one so maybe it is time to delegate can you do that in church...........................
Saturday, June 6, 2009
Sick, sick of being sick
I cannot believe this but i have been sick again, after my gym on Monday night, Tuesday morning i started with a sore throat and ears, so after work i made a detour past the chemist and picked up what i thought would be the end to all my problems. Strepsils for my throat, ACC 200 for building me up, Med lemon, for taking away aches and pains and fever and relieving all the symptoms of colds and flu............... ha ha .................. and then the generic medicines of cataflan, whatever that is called because you cannot get cataflan without a prescription from the doctor, took them all after supper and off to bed i went, Wednesday morning...................... nothing had changed, so Wednesday evening i tried again......................Thursday morning nothing changed, i was convinced by Thursday evening i would be back to normal................nothing changed. Friday morning i got up went to the doctor who gave me an injection and all i can say is that it was not in my arm, and i now have trouble sitting............................. but by the end of the day i was feeling much better. I am not sure how you are supposed to be when you are feeling sick, i normally have pain, like headache or a broken wrist or a kidney stone, real pain, but this aching bones and being miserable because that is how you feel just does not work for me, you actually have to sit and do nothing because you are actually too sick to do anything, a whole new concept for me. By the time i had got to the doctor, i was really bad, the self medication had left me with a legacy caused by my own stupidity................ the upset stomach .......................... on top of everything else. The doctor tells me to drink black tea, and eat dry marie biscuits and cream crackers for 24 hours, i told him i came to see him to feel better, and now he makes me feel worse, he tells me its called "tough love." He really has a weird sense of humour, or is that humour maybe he is just sadistic or maybe.................... I knew i must be really really sick when i got a whole big bag of medicine, you see only people who are really really sick get such a big bag of medicing, so am going to enjoy being miserable for a while, everyone else does it, i have given myself today and then tomorrow i will be back to normal......................... well as normal as i can be.................................
Monday, June 1, 2009
Back to the gym
After months of finding every excuse possible, tonight i ran out of excuses so back to the gym i went, i used to go 3/4 times a week, but over the past 18 months with my life full of "things" to do i have not been. Well talk about unfit, i just walked the stairs to get to the gym and already my heart rate was up, my daughter was there and i started with something easy the bike, i used to spin for 2 hours every Saturday morning with no problem at all tonight, well after 10 minutes on level 1, which for those who don't know is the easiest level, my legs were on fire and i decide to try the stepping machine, after 3 minutes on level 1 i had, had enough i used to do 15 minutes no problem, i tried the rowing machine and was able to row for 15 minutes, and then back to the bike for another 10 minutes, my legs felt like jelly when i got up, and walking down the stairs was a whole new experience, thank goodness there was a wall which i could slide down to get back to my car. On arriving home the house was in chaos, my youngest daughter was starving, and my husband was on his way out, to who knows where and did not have time to eat, strange how they are just not capable of making there own food, i think i have spoilt them to much so this is where i will have to make some changes, tomorrow night back to the gym for me.............................
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