Have you ever got up in the morning, and just had a deep feeling of sadness, you are not sure what it is, you are not sure why you have it, you know you have so much to be thankful for, so much more than so many, and yet that ache is there.......................... it is like you want to spend the whole day peeling onions...............really good strong onions............ so no one can see the tears are real........
For my birthday I had received a gift voucher for a coffee shop, so although my birthday was in December, yesterday was the first time I had some time to use it. So off we went for lunch, the place was called Legato............ a beautiful place where the owners live on the top floor and the coffee shop is on the bottom floor, a peaceful place with nooks and crannies all over, so you didn't know what was around the next corner.................... I suppose just like my life right now, full of hope and also full of uncertainty................
The music was "semi' classical if there is such a thing, nice background music................. the only problem was the strange feeling I had when I walked inside, have you ever walked into a place and the hairs on the back of your neck just stand on edge.......... this has happened to me twice, once when I went into the kitchen of the General Jan Smuts museum in Irene and yesterday when I walked into the Legato Coffee Shop ..................
We were sitting eating in a little corner we had to eat inside because Kayla as usual had forgotten her jersey and the weather is really turning quite chilly, this morning was the first freeze of the winter......... we had just received our food, given thanks ........ and the next minute a clock fell of the wall........... just fell off the wall............... there was no one sitting near it there was no walking past it, no one bumped a table ............. nothing......... it just fell off the wall.
We were laughing and joking about it when the lamp on the table across the room started to flicker........... and that was me.............. I just had this really uncomfortable feeling............ that continued to stay with me the whole day......................
In the evening I was bringing in the washing and the wisteria pods which were at the top of the mulberry tree were breaking open from the cold, and all I could think of was my heart breaking open............ and the dark cloud of sadness is still just above my head...............


