The Wedding

The wedding is over, and it was all we could have wished for, the day dawned bright and sunny, i dropped by youngest daughter at the hairdresser, at the crack of dawn, because it was a long and busy day ahead, i then rushed over to the florist, before she dropped the bridal bouquets at the venue, instead of keeping it at the shop for the bride, we discovered early on that although there work was absolutely stunning, they were none of them the brightest crayon in the box............ the sharpest tool in the shed ................ and they were stunning, when my daughter gets an idea, she know exactly what she wants and how to make it a reality, the bridesmaid flowers were in silver tin handbags, with white roses peeping out of the top, and the brides bouquet, was stunning, with its green and white flowers.

As i rushed the bridesmaids all four of them between hair and makeup, the only benefit being that i could stay in the car which had the airconditioner on full blast to keep me cool, in more ways than one, the bride was being pampered to a breakfast and a very relaxing morning, by a good friend of mine, she wandered into the hairdresser at about 12 as calm as a cucumber, while we were stressing somewhat, one of the flower girls was caught in traffic so was running late for her hair appointment, the other bridesmaid was still at the "bush " stage and her hair still had to be curled.

The bride was deposited at a friends house, to change and for the first photo's one of over 500 that were taken that day.

When i saw my daughter in her full dress and veil the day before, i began to cry, the wedding was truly a reality, with her hair and makeup on she looked stunning, and as the groom said later in the evening, "She really does clean up well."

My daughter always wanted to drive to her wedding in old cars, and is that is my husbands hobby, she was taken to the wedding venue in two old beige Rovers, which looked stunning with their black and green ribbons, the only downfall too old cars is no air conditioners, luckily the day was not melting hot, just uncomfortable hot........... the trip also took twice as long in the old cars, than we had allowed for, at one point during the trip i think the whole of Heidelberg, was stuck in the traffic jam behind us........

The chapel was tiny and very hot, certainly not built or designed to seat 150 people, our small wedding ended up with 150 people............... at one point i thought i would melt completely and only pools of fat would remain to show i had been there, luckily the weather turned and a breeze came up to cool the chapel down, although the service was in Afrikaans, it was very thought provoking, and very light hearted....... with the minister laughing and joking with the bride and groom.

Then the storm came up, a true Highveld storm, lots of thunder and lightning and a pitch black sky, so the photo phase of the wedding was cut short as people rushed to get inside before the heavens opened, and open they did, at one time you could not hear yourself think above the noise of the rain on the tin roof.

The place looked stunning, in fact the venue owner told me that this was the smartest table wedding she had ever seen, the slide show was fun...... full of old photos of the parents weddings, and the pair as they were growing up, something different............... and then the rain stopped and my daughter go her wish, that all her photos could be taken with the sunset as a back drop and what a sunset it was ....................................

Food was great, the music was great, the people were great, the 150 cup cakes that made up the wedding cake were absolutely stunning, and an amazing time was had by all, at 00.00 i asked that everyone be thrown out as i was not paying extra for the extra time............and as someone said the invitation said "Smart, Casual" and that is exactly what the day was Smart .............. Casual ................

Eight Sleeps

Only eight more sleeps, and my daughter is getting married, she will no longer have the same surname, she will no longer be identifiable by her surname as “one of us”, she will no longer have to pretend at work that we only have the same name and are in no way related, just in case I have had sometime or other put the customers account on hold, she will have a brand new name, one she can be proud of, and her new life will begin.

As I look at her so grown up and mature, so organized something that I thought I would never see, she has lists for everything, she has thought of everything, I am so proud of her, I will be so proud to see her walk down the isle, she has grown into a beautiful young lady, one who is liked by all, someone who has compassion and will help others, someone who people like to be around, who is interesting to talk to, who can make others laugh, someone who has the ability to forgive and forget and move on because life is to short to worry about the small stuff.

When I look at her, I am thankful for all the time I spent with her, the hours in doctors waiting rooms when she got sick, the hours walking up and down trying to comfort her when she was not feeling well, the hours spent lying on her bed because she would not go to sleep, the hours doing homework, the hours testing her when she was writing exams, the hours in the car driving to and from school, the hours driving to and from the stables, the lunches that we have enjoyed together, the Friday afternoon milkshakes …………….. I would not change a moment of it.

They say children are a blessing and I know that I have been blessed by having her in my life, and I would not change a moment of it. But looking back I can see this was a choice on my part, I could have done, what my parents had done and not taken an interest, I could have just been there giving a roof over her head and food on her plate, but I wanted something more, I wanted to build good memories, that she would remember forever, and one day when she has children she can regale to them the “stories” of her mother, good loving stories and happy memories, this is the legacy that I want to leave to her ………………………….

With this wedding she has done so much herself, she handmade every invitation herself, she handmade every place name, she handmade every thank you card.

She taught herself how to make candles and made every candle herself.

She made her own thank you gifts, when it would have been so much easier just to buy them.

She hand made the boxes for her flowers for the tables because she could not find exactly what she wanted at the price she was prepared to pay.

She deserves only the very best on her special day, she deserves for all the dreams she has for this special day to be fulfilled, she deserves the sunset which she ordered months ago, she deserves her dreams to come true ……

Wedding

My eldest daughter is getting married in 19 days, i am not quite sure if i am ready to be a mother-in-law?? Sounds like something that my Mom was .......... what does it mean to be a mother-in-law does it give me any responsibilities .........

does it give me the right to say what is on my mind .................. does it mean that i have lost my daughter to another

family ........ that she is no longer one of us but one of them .............

I can remember like it was yesterday the day we brought her home from the hospital, i lay her on the bed and said to my husband "What are we going to do with that" until you have a child of your own, and baby sitting does not count, because you always have the option of giving it back when you have had enough ..............you cannot imagine the full time commitment that it takes, the hours of worry, the sleepless nights, the constant challenge of whether what you are doing is right or not. The adverts and movies you see on TV are all false advertising, children don't go to bed by themselves, children don't eat their food at one without making a mess, children don't potty train overnight, children don't just speak in full sentences ..........Children puke ........ poo ........ cry ............. and want constant undivided attention .

My daughter is very artistic and has done most things herself for the wedding, her own invitations, her own flower boxes has made her own candles, her own wedding favors .................. she has always been creative she has always loved being by herself and making things, whether it was beads, or paintings, or clothes or scrap booking photos ......... she was always happiest when she was creating something where did this come from, even stick men are a problem for me, and i am really not sure about my husband because when something needed drawing he seldom offered to help. In fact as i look back i realize that my husband rarely spend much time with the children at all, i cannot remember him ever helping with homework, i was always the one to go to parent evenings, i was the one to fetch and carry to and from parties, to and from school ........................ is this why my daughter is so independent, so set in her ways, so strong willed, not needing anyone for anything, is this what she got from me, is this the legacy that i am leaving her ........

When you look back at them at their hangups which you know you caused, because of your hang ups because of your own inability to have a proper relationship, because of your quest to be the perfect mother. Children should come with an instruction manual, so that you know when you are doing it right and when you are doing it wrong ............

A friend of mine often says that we are all born winners, but are conditioned losers ........ and it is so true a child is capable of anything, we as parents keep telling them they can't .................. one of the first words a child learns is

no .......................... don't .................... naughty ...................

I know that i tried to be a better parent than my parents were, and i hope that she will improve on the kind of parent i was to her ....................... but more than anything i hope than one day she will look back and be able to thank me for who she is .........................