THE wedding..........

I think  that  it  might  be  safe  now  to blog about THE wedding  I went  to last  year  in November when we  flew  down  to  Cape Town  for the  weekend,  this  is  a  true  story  but  names and places  have been changed  to protect innocent  people involved.............. and no pictures........... to protect me  from a law  suit....
Lets  start  at the  very  beginning............... the wedding was  supposed  to take  place in March 2011,  and  we had  planned  to take a week and spend the time  in Cape  Town,  it  was  brought forward  because the brides parents  were  emigrating  to  Australia in December................  we are   now in  March,  and her  parents  are  still here.................
My eldest  daughter  was a bridesmaid so she  spent  all afternoon with the bride,  us lucky  ones  arrived at the venue  at  4pm  the  wedding was to start at 4.30pm.  The  place  The Cape  Pillars  is  a  four  star  bed and breakfast, and conference centre,   and  a very  pretty  place,   there  was a welcome table  set up in the lobby of the venue  with some  tea,  coffee,  and iced  water............  no glasses.........  only  coffee  mugs..............     although I must  admit  the  snacks  were  really good,   so I assumed   that  supper  was  going to be good because I was starving and  we  all know  what assume  means.
We  were  asked  to come  through  to the hall  in which the wedding would take  place,  the  colour scheme for the wedding  was maroon and  brown,  the  chairs  were  orange,  all different  shapes  and  sizes,  and on each chair  scribbled  in pencil  on a piece of paper torn  into  small pieces  from an  A4 sheet  was our names,  we  were  back  row,  now  I wonder  why that  was,  we  were  next  to the  nurse  who was  looking after  the brides  granny,  everyone  at last is  seated..........
The music  started  and the  bride appears at the top of the  stairway,   her  dress  was  really beautiful,  she  is a  slim  young  lady  with  beautiful hair,  but  attached  to her  headdress,   was  a dead  drooping  flower,   she walked  down  the  aisle,  the minister  smiled,   said the  vows, asked  if they took each  other  as  husband and wife,  read a poem about what  love  is,  you may  kiss the  bride........  7 minutes  later  the  wedding  is  over..........  no really the  wedding  is  over...........  no prayer,  no  bible  reading,  no message,  no inspiration,  nothing..........   we  travelled  1500km and spent  R 10 000 for  7 minutes,  that  is  R .. .........  a lot  per  minute.  Kira  told  me later  that  she  had  seen  the bride  paying the  minister  R 800 for these  7 minutes,  I would  have  done it  better  for  free...........
The  first photo's  are  being  taken  outside in the garden,     I tell Kira  about the  dead  flower  on the  brides head,  and her  looks  turn  me  into a tea  strainer,  I am let  into the  fact later  that the  mother,  insisted  that the  flowers  looked nice,  but that  was before  they  had  become thirsty  and started  heading  downwards  looking  for  water.  The  grooms mother,  who it was  quite  obvious  it  not too fond of the  bride   is  crying she   is refusing  to have  her  photo  taken  with the  couple, she  obviously  did  not get an invitation  to the wedding  which  said  formal,   she is dressed as thought  she has just come back from a picnic,  the  photographer  convinces  her  just  one  photo....... which because  two  and three,  until  she  stormed  off the  set..........  I mean  left the garden.
The second  photo  shoot  was taken inside  on the  stairs,  lovely  photo,  I warned  them that the  sign "mind the step"  was  visible , and  was  shot down,  they can  all be  photo shopped  out they  said ..........  well they  weren't.....  While this was  happening  the  owner wanted to put the  TV on  and can you imagine  an important  rugby game,  guys,  no one  would be taking part in the wedding,  so I put my foot  down ......
then , politely of course   that  my bed and breakfast  was much nicer that this,  and why would I change,  not sure  why but she didn't ask me again......................

We then  went  out to the back   garden  for the  reception,  where  we  took turns  in sitting  down,  as  someone  stood  up,  there  would be another  body  sitting  on the chair,  before  you  knew  what  was  happening.  As  are  most  wedding  here   it was a  cash  bar,    should  have  been  called  a day light robbery  bar,  a 2 litre  bottle  of  Coca Cola  is   R 12.99,  and  one  bottle  gives  you  8  glasses  of coke,  and they  were  charging  R 15.00  per  glass,  daylight  robbery,   we  just  refused to buy anything,  and  I stuck  with the  tea,  coffee and  water,  After the  toasts however  the champagne was  free  so with the help of the  brides  aunt  we "affirmative shopped" a couple of  bottles........... the wedding  did not seem  so bad  after  that.

Now  it is  time for the  toasts,  we are  all called  to assemble  for them,  and the  brides  step father  gives  the  first  toast..........................  no champagne  ................    he  rambled  on for  about  20 minutes,  then  her  mom  had 20  minutes, then the  best man had  20 minutes,  then the groom had  20 minutes,  that the  bride had 20 minutes ...............  is this  normal at a  wedding........................ and  his  mom cried,  and  cried  and cried...........
Now  it is  time  to get this  party going.........................  and the  DJ  for the evening  is..................... the bride................. forcing  everyone  onto the dance floor,  and  no one is in the mood,  oh  wait  a minute  there  is no mood..........

The wedding  starts  at  4pm and  now  it is  7pm  and everyone  is  starving,  and  out  comes,  finger  food,  how much  finger  food  can  one person  eat...........  lots  when  you are  all starving,  so  we  quickly ran  out of  food.  The  wedding  cake  was  chocolate  and really nice,  and came  with  a liquour  called  Amarela Cream  really nice.............. and  free..................
The brides  parents,  have a printing  company,  and the  thank you gifts  were  all left  overs  from  jobs  they had  done...........  I got a pen set for my desk,  Kayla got a mug, Kira  got a picture frame,  at  8.30  it was at  last  safe to leave..................      I pray with all my heart  that  God  was at their wedding and that  he will bless then and guide them, and protect them, I pray that the mother-in-law,  with whom they live,  will learn tolerence and acceptance, and I pray that  love  is enough  to see them  through ...........