Friday, July 31, 2009

Laughter

What would we do without laughter, what would the world do without laughter................ My daughters and i have often sat in restaurants and people have looked at us as though we were crazy because we were having a good laugh at something which was amusing at the time, this is only when hubby is not with otherwise we get the "shush" every five minutes because we are making a noise........................
I remember one time giving a lift to a stranger, not something i normally do, but i knew she worked at a store in town, so stopped to help, when she got out of the car, she thanked us for the ride, and said we were the most festive family she had ever met, and that we had made her day........................
Since i had this as something to be grateful for the other day, in my gratitude dairy, it has been on my mind a lot, what is it that makes us happy, why is it that we can find something funny in every situation, when my Mom was still alive and giving us such a hard time, i would have people in stiches, regalling all the antics my Mom had got up to, and believe me i could write a book.....................
At my Moms funeral, my sister and i were killing ourselves laughing, the minister spent 45 minutes trying to get an imaginary something off his tongue, and the pianist, had either had one too many, or she really needed to go for some lessons, luckily those behind us throught that we were crying....................... it would just not do to be laughing, but why not................................................
I spent a weekend at my sister once and i was telling her about a friends son, who leaves the first letter off each word, for example " i av a ore inger" which translated means " i have a sore finger", well we spent the entire weekend, talking like this, i have never laughed so much in all my life, the next weekend she taught the new language to another friend, and in fact they used it at a restaurant, and had such fun the waitress thought that they were foreign.
We still laugh at my Aunt at Gold Reef City, she asked a Chinese lady if she was visiting South Africa, and the lady said, " I am from Rivonia" and my aunt said, "pnumonia is a very bad illness" well whenever my daughter tells the story, we still roll on the carpets, because apart from being something of an actress, my daughter is fantastic with imitations and she can also get the accents right.
The other day when 24 of us went to the movies, on the way home my daughterwas reading in character an advert from a black spiritual healer, who says with herbs he can save your marraige, make you breasts bigger, make your love life better, and get rid of Hiv/Aids, well in the end i could not drive, we were laughing so much, in fact the guard who checks that you have keys in your car, wanted to know what we were laughing at..............................
Then there was the time my friend had an ashma attack because we were laughing so much while we were doing the dishes, her husband won't let us do dishes together.......................
Laughter is the cure for all pain, it is the cure for all heart ache, it is the cure when you just can't cope when things go wrong, it is the tonic for the heart, and for the soul..............................................

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Parents

I was listening to a tape in my car a while back and something stuck in my mind, I think the tape was the reading of a book called "Being the best you can Be" by Joel Osteen, and in it he says everyone tries to blame their problems on someone else, and specifically on their parents, he goes on to say that 75% of all families today are dysfunctional, so we must get over it.......take responsibility for our own lives and get on with it...........................
In the last week i have read two very personal testamonies, of two woman, and the problems they had in their childhood, and it has made me look back at my own childhood. I must say i used to harbor "dark" feelings about my parents, but at a church service about 2 years ago, i wrote my anger down on a piece of paper, and set fire to it................. you have no idea who cleansing that was, the hate was gone and i felt better for it.
I was then able to look back at my childhood and find things to be grateful for, the fact that my parents taught me impeccible manners which i know has got me where i am today, the fact that they brought me to this land of sunshine, rugby and boerewors ( both of the latter i must admit i hate with a passion) away from the cold grey place i was born, that they settled in Impala Park instead of Bonaero Park, otherwise i would not have met all the people who were and still are such a big part of who i am.................. I would not have gone to Boksburg Commercial High and met my "bestest" friend in the whole world. I would not have started going to Church and met Christ, i would not have fallen in love with my friends brother, an unrequited love, but my first love never the less, I would not have................................. i have so much to thank my parents for...................... it is strange how when you replace your thoughts with good thoughts, how the "bad" stuff, the tears, the poverty, the drinking, the smoking just seem to belong to someone else's life..........................
Then i have to think of my own children, what have i done to them, what scars have i left on their lives, what horrors will they have to work to, to have good healthy relationships...................
I know what i have given them is hugs, and love and understanding, and friendship, and education and the love of books, and the love of nature, and the love of people and the love of giving................................and the love of Christ and the acceptance that all people are equal, maybe that is enough.....................................

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Gratitude Journals

I bought an Oprah magazine the other day, i don't always agree with what she believes in, but you have to give her acknowledgement that, she really does have some good "food for throught" items , and some very interesting articles, in fact i learnt how to become a Blogger in an Oprah magazine, whether that is a good thing or a bad thing i am not sure, but i really enjoy it, it is an amazing tool for putting things into prespective, it is amazing how when you see things in black and white how they start to make sense. And i must admit i also have a personnal blog to which i have not given my friends the link............. if you can find it, i think you will really see me without the mask.........Good luck.
Included free with the magazine was a small "Gratitude Journal", and she challanges you to everyday write down 5 things that you are grateful for.....................
No problem there is loads of things which i am grateful for............ and on Monday i started my journal, no problem food, house, job, children and heat.
And then comes day two and i had to really start thinking because i had already used all the easy gratitude items..............
Firstly i am thankful, for good friends, friends who you don't have to phone everyday, friends who you can not see in months, and when you do get together, it is like a day has passed since you last saw each other, friends who know the exact moment you are down, and they send you and email or an sms, friends who can tell by your "hello" exactly what mood you are in, friends who could blackmail you with the information they have on you.................... i am really thankful for my friends.
Then i was thankful for laughter, how sad it must be if you cannot laugh at yourself, if you can't see something to give joy in every situation, what had happened lst night, and why this came to mind, was my daughter and i were cuddled in bed together, it was - 6 in Heidelberg last night, and you really just needed to be in bed, well, i very quietly " let one go" at that exact moment, she decided to lift the blanket to see how many cats were in bed with us, and well the rest in history, we laughed for about 10 minutes, that was of course after she had got her breath back..................... i am really thankful for laughter.
Then i am thankful that i am not alone, our neighbour is a strange character, and has caused us lots of problems in the past, killed out chickens, and shot our dog with pellets, but on the way to week of prayer at my daughters school i saw that he was walking towards the school, and i thought wow that's far to walk, about 8 km from home. After the service was finished, i felt the need to ask him if i could give him a lift home, and his words shocked me, he said he does not have a home his wife threw his out, and now he is living on the streets............. i am really thankful that i know i will never be that alone that i would ever have to live on the streets.
Then i am thankful, that i know no matter how far away God feels sometimes, he is always with me, perhaps he wants to bring me down a peg or two, perhaps there is a lesson that i need to learn, perhaps i have not prayed enough, perhaps he is just too busy fighting my battles for me........................... but i am thankful i am his child.
And lastly i am thankful for who i am, i don't always understand or see in me what other people see, but i like who i am, i like where i am going, and i like those people around me, who are taking the journey with me, I am thankful for me.............................

Saturday, July 25, 2009

Masks

This has really been a week of doing things differently, and that is what life is all about the only thing certain in our life is change, and we should embrace it.........................
Today is Saturday, and i decided yesterday that i was going to have a lie in this morning, no gym, no hair appointments, no nail appointments, no taking anyone anywhere no doing anything for anyone except me i know it sounds rather selfish, but all the motivational books tell you that you have to love yourself and spoil yourself in order for others to love you....................... Truth of the matter is i knew it was going to be freezing cold this morning and did not want to venture outside until it was a "tad" warmer.
I have had a very soul searching week, i have had to face a few truths head on, and realised that we all wear masks, and only show others what we want them to see............... what we think it is safe to show them........... how much information we think people can digest............... I was priveleged this week to read a friends message on faith, i have been friends with this person that more years than i care to remember, and i realised that even after all these years there were things that i did not know about her, how could i have not know, how could i have not understood, how could i not have put the pieces of the puzzle together, was i to young, too stupid, did i just not care enough....................... or was her mask so entrenched in who she was that she never showed anyone the truth behind the mask................................ The bible says it is better to have a friend who can pick you up when you are down, who can hold you accountable, who can lead you back to the path you should be on................ I want to be that kind of friend.
I also came to the realisation that it is so difficult to change ourselves, how do we think ,we , "humans" can change someone else. I am going through the book, as i have said many times, The Power of the Praying wife, and i thought that i was really praying into the book, really seeing the truth, and then a throw away remark from my prayer partner, had me all mixed up................. and i had to reaccess am i really praying into this book, this book that asks us to change, asks us to put all our faith in God so that he can change our partners...........
We normally pray on Fridays but for circumstances beyond our control, we had to move it to Sunday, although it was her turn to come to my house, I said don't worry i'll come to you and then you will not have to leave your husband at home, she said something like but what about your husband, and i said something along the lines of SO WHAT................ this week the chapter we prayed into was about PRIORITIES, about how important it what to put God first, then your husband and then your children.................. before work, before friends, before activities, before reading, before televison, before all other things..........................................how important it was to let your husband know he was your main priority..................................... thinking back i don't think i have ever done this........................... so how has this book made me change..............................do i still have my mask on............................ do i even know who the person is behind the mask............................

Monday, July 20, 2009

Time Out

Today i had a day off work, not for any particular reason, just because I felt like it....................... I had nothing to do, for once, i could do what i pleased, i didn't have to answer to anyone, i didn't have to be any place at any specific time, i didn't have to take my daughter to the docter, i didn't have to pick anyone up or drop anyone off, i didn't have to arrange anything, or think about anything.............................. now many times does that happen in a year.

As it happens, i ended up having a very busy day, it is almost like there is a network of invisible spy's who drive around all day and look for people who are not doing anything they then put their names on some invisible board, so when anyone wants something doing, hey presto your name is by some means on that board and they just "happen" to phone to see if you can help...........................

I started by going to get my daughter new ear phones, for her cell phone, my cat had taken a liking to her previous pair, and had tried to eat them, ear phones are a need not a want, so that she can listen to music, which is a must in our house, if she cannot listen to music some of the time, that would mean that there is more time for talking, and boy can my daughter talk, she is like one of those wind up toys that is powered by duracell batteries that go on...........and on.................and on.........

And then i took a friend that i have neglected for coffee and breakfast. And then i found another car licence that had not been paid which i had forgot in my car when i went there on Thursday before i went away for a few days.

Then a friend phoned to ask if i could do a half hour talk on HIV/Aids which i could so i did.................it is always frightning to see how little people know about the subject, one of the ladies was brave enough to admit that she has aids....... wow.............. after just one half hour talk she was so comfortable with the subject that she was not afraid to admit to her status. This is really a passion of mine, telling people about the disease and that it is not a death sentence, that you can still live for 20 years and have a good life.

Then i had to pick my daughter up from school, because i had to take her to have her trousers taylored, she has been wearing them for 2 months already and today, she decides that she can no longer handle them and needs them fixed today.......................otherwise she can never go to school again.............................. nice try.

Then i decided to go to the nursery and buy some plants, really the absolute wrong time of the year, but i was in the mood to garden so i wanted to strike while the iron is hot.

My "better" half hired someone to paint the back veranda, well, we now have green walls, green pots, green verandah, and anything else that was stationary has paint all over it, he then moved all my pots and just put them back where ever he felt like it, needless to say my "better" half did nothing to correct the problem, so using all my strength, i think i need to work on the arms much more at gym, i moved them back into the correct position, even if they are flecked with green.

Now i am off to cook supper, for today and tomorrow because it is gym tomorrow, and i must do the programme tonight for the woman's retreat, and i need to prepare the lesson for our cell group on Wednesday, and i need to finish my friends scarf, and i need to finish a book that i need to give back to a friend.......................... thank goodness i had nothing to do today.......................

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Goodbye farm

I have just spent 4 relaxing days with my sister, and i am so laid back now, that nothing can get to me. I feel so close to my Heavenly Father, which is something the bush always does for me, it makes me realise how small i am, and yet God knows how many hairs i have on my head, and he loves me no matter what.
It had something of a problem start, I was up normal time on Thursday morning to discover that we had frozen over night and there was no hot water, so i had to wait until my husband had bathed and left for work, before i could bath, which means before i started i was already running late, something that i hate, i am such a punctual person, that i hate it when my timing plans do not go according to plan, then i had some home chores to do, i had to pay the car licences and the electricity bill before i could leave, as the municipality is ruthless and i would have been without power by Monday morning.
Half way into our trip the housekeeper phoned to tell me i had forgotten my toiletry bag in the bathroom, it was just not an option to leave it behind, everything, that was a cream was in that bag, i would have looked like a wrinkled pear by today with out my anti wrinkle creams, i would have smelt like a dead cow, without my deoderant, and i would have had breath like.................. Shrek............ , so we trekked back all the way to fetch it, but it was worth it for everyone around me.
We first went to their new farm in the Magaliesburg, what a beautiful place much smaller than the farm that they have just sold in Swartruggens, but lovely, little cottages, with a boma in the middle, we had a roaring fire in the evening and i mean a roaring fire, almost whole trees were thrown in and although it was minus on the outside around that fire it must have been 30 degrees. We decided rather late to go on a game drive, i don't think i have ever been so cold in my life....................... so believe me needed that fire to thaw out, i am sure that my blood became as thick as a slush puppy from the cold, it was freezing needless to say with the cold and the dark we really did not get to see much game, and we didn't talk much we were scared that our faces would freeze into that position............. the next time in the middle of winter i will be more careful what i ask for, because i might just get it.........................
On Friday morning we again had a problem with the water, someone had switched off the geyers so we had to wait to shower because it was just to cold to shower in anything that was not boiling hot, my brother in law was the first to shower, and he came back looking decidedly blue, he had put the shower on and then got in presuming that it was hot...........................
brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
On Friday afternoon we went through to the farm they have just sold, which was really heart sore, we have spent some fantastic times there, we have spent Christmas's for the last 4 years there, i have spent some time in July there every year for the past few years, not to mention all the weekends in between, we have had dinners for up to 30 people there, and spend hours alone talking in the bush, we have looked for missing cows, for hours, and we have prayed in my sisters special part of the farm., i will really miss the place...............................
We spent two days of peace and quiet there going on walks sitting around the fire, and just chatting, i love these times i spend with my sister, they really make me feel so close to her.
As we left the far this morning, it was quite a sad occassion because we are not sure whether we will ever see it again, and it was a beautiful place, but like my very smart 16 year old daughter said, where every my sister is, she makes the place into a place that you love to visit........................................

Monday, July 13, 2009

My Two Old Aunts

During my annual leave this year, i had my two Aunts come and stay with us for just less than a month, which was amazing, considering their ages, one was 79 and one was 76 and they did the trip from England to South Africa, we lost them in Switzerland, for a few hours, but managed to get them to France luggage and all, and they were only 14 hours late, two amazing old ladies, which i might, add hated when i called them old.
On the first night we discovered that the younger Aunt was terrified of thunder and lightning, and i don't mean scared i mean terrified, my other aunt had neglected to tell here about the storms in case she would not come with her to deepest, darkest Africa, who comes to the highveld in Summer when they are afraid of thunder and lightning........... it must be terrible to be so afraid of something, and the fact that we were having constant storms and electicity failures did little to put her mind at rest, in fact one night she fell out of bed trying to get away from the storm, she was sleeping by the window, silly move on my part i know.
The other Aunt was terrified of anything that moved, we live in Africa, where is there not creepy, crawly things of all sizes and descriptions , bugs, bats, moths, worst still we spent 10 days with my sister who lives in the bush. In the evening we would lie in bed and listen to the masacre going on in the old girls room next door, they insisted on sleeping with the lights on because of the storms, which of course would attract all bugs in i think a 10 km range, each morning the floor would be covered with the dead bodies, of what used to be insects.
In Africa we have small white lizzards called gecco's and my aunts were convinced that these were young crocodiles, and every night we would have to check the rooms, just in case by some fluke of nature something happened to them during the night and became full grown crocodiles, who would devour them in their sleep.
Frogs were the next problem, my aunt had only seen frogs in ponds, in parks, surely that is where frogs belong, never on the verandah of your home, and never inside your house, and certainly never in your shoes, they died when i could not get my shoes on to realise there was a bullfrog asleep inside each shoe, we got used to the screams and didn't go charging to their side after the first 100 screams the urgency factor wore off, and we prayed that the snakes would stay outdoors for the duration of their stay because that i think would just have taken them over the edge........................
Why is this on my mind now, because my aunt goes into hospital tomorrow for a hip replacement, because she does not want to battle to walk, and still wants to travel to a few more places before she is done with life........................................... thats what i want to be, love life to the full and do what ever i can to make it worthwhile........................... and i pray with all my heart that her gamble pays off......................

Saturday, July 11, 2009

Horse Thieves

What a day i had yesterday, the drama started at about 8.30 when my daughter phoned me sobbing that her horses had been stolen, i could not believe it, who would want our horses, Night is 22 and has not been riden for at least 4 years since " the accident" where he ripped his whole stomach open and nearly died, he has had a big pollup on his stomach since then, and we just have not had the heart to ride him. Melody is 19 years old, and was ridden about a year ago but she has a bit of arthritise, so we have not been riding her either, who in their right minds would take our precious horse, worthless to anyone except us, and maybe i have just hit the nail on the head, who in their right mind.................................
Our local police station to put it politely was as useful as a freezer to an Eskimo, after two and a half hours, and twenty phone calls, the police were "dropped off" because they did not have a car available, well we have know for some time that we have no police force, but what i did not realise how bad it was, what we have is a troop of monkies that have been taken out of the bush, put in uniforms, and given a pen and a gun................. All they were interested in was a cup of coffee, and as we THOUGHT that we needed their help my daughter obliged, the situation became very clear, when my daughter had to ask one of the officers to please stop picking his nose................. monkey monkey monkey. We had to give them a lift back to the police station, and we have heard nothing yet.................... a day later............................
My daughter in the meantime, through a stroke of good fortune managed to get the number of a policeman who really loved his job, and within 45 minutes was on the scene, and then the tracking began.................
They traced the tracks to the highway, and were able to ascertain, that there were two of them, and that they were riding the horses, scenes, of the movie Black Beauty kept coming to my mind, all i could think of was these two horses being mistreated, abused, and even worse pulling heavy coal carts or being killed for polony.
After hours of tracking, they realised that the horses were headed for a location about 20 km away from Heidelberg, so they took the search there, as with most things in life it was money that saved the day, a "informer" was prepared to tell us where are horses were for a sum of money, we did not hesitate, and there between two tin shacks, tied with string, no water and no grass, we found our precious Night and Melody. They were exhausted but looked no worse for wear.
The saga was by no means over, we had to get the horses to a place of safety, so my daughter followed by the tracker and a marked police vehicle was escorted, the 5km it took to get to the police station, they say in the location she is already famous, and everyone is talking about the white girl, who walked through the whole location leading two horses.
For once, both horses boxed without a problem, and the anticipated 3 hours loading drama, did not happen, i think the horses realised that this was the only way they were going to get home, and went into the horse box with very little coaxing.....................
The stables are now double bolted and everyone is thankful for all the prayers that went out to find our horses, but what we ponder now is all the horses that are never found, what about their fate.........................................................

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Time

I cannot believe that it is over a week since i have written something, what happens too time, there just never seems to be enough of it, no matter how fast we do things, there is always that something that we leave undone. What would we do different if we knew what was going to happen tomorrow, what would we do different if we knew that this would be our last hours.
My brother-in -law died today. He lives in Canada and was driving a truck to New Jersey and died of a heart attack, he has never had a days sick in his life, not on any medication, and now in a heart beat he is gone. .......................
I think this is why i push myself so much to get the most out of every day, why i get involved in so many things, because i want to get the most out of life, that is why i don't worry about the small stuff, it is really just not worth it, you cannot change anything by worrying, so why bother, we are the master of our own lives, our own joy and are own future.
On Friday i was the MC at a small church concert, there was about 120 people there, and i mentioned the fact that the children had all written letters to their leader for the week, and the letters were full of love, and admiration and joy.
When do we lose this, we teach our children to be open and yet, when is that time when we as "grown ups" put on our masks, and don't really show the real us to the world, where we play roles for others, trying to be what they want us to be and not show the real us, with all the warts and wrinkles. What moment in time do we start to hide our true feelings, start to build a wall between us and those around us, is this so we don't get hurt, surely that is the fun of life taking chances and learning by our mistakes, learning by the hurts, there is a saying "better to have loved and lost than never to have loved", surely that should be, "better to have lived life to the fullest, than to look back tomorrow and life is gone...................."

I AM WHO I AM

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