Hospital

When I went to the doctor on Monday last week, who would have thought that i would spend 5 days in hospital, 5 days of my life wasted lying in a bed, waiting, waiting, for tea time, lunch time, waiting for visitors, waiting for phone calls just waiting.
I learnt a few things during this time, when the nurse fails to find a vein after the 6th attempt call in the reserves, the marines a drug addict, anyone, as the chances are that she is never going to find one, ask me, i have so many holes in my arms that i am a human sieve, they are all now shaded in with lovely purple bruising, and the best is the nurse never found a vein, the ward sister had to come, and guess what she found one on the first attempt, how can they let these untrained sadists loose on our unsuspecting veins.
I learnt, that hospitals make you all equal, you all walk around in your pyjamas with your drip in tow, looking like something from an alien planet, i cannot believe that with todays technology that they have not invented something a little more user friendly a little more easy to manage. You spend every waking moment, worrying about your drip, just in case you pull it out of your arm, and you have to go through the whole pin cushion exercise again. On the day i walked to the hospital shop i was in need of some new reading matter, i had a coughing fit and you could see everyone take one step backwards, after that when ever we would go to the shop, we would say we are going to scare all the visitors away, because they think we have swine flu.......................
One thing you don't do in hospitals is rest, the first night i was there someone died, and at 1 am in the morning, the whole family came, crying and performing, the person was dead what was the point, surely you would rather remember them as they were, not as the lifeless person they ended up.
The bells, oh the bells, do sick people not sleep, every five minutes someone was ringing the bell, to get the nurses attention, and the phones, who in their right mind phones a hospital at 2 am in the morning, to check up on someone who is sick...................
The nurses are like little ants, running around all day, is it really necessary to take you blood pressure 10 times per day unless you have a blood pressure problem. Every nurse told me mine was low, but not one of them throught to do anything about it.
Another wonder in a hospital is the toilets, i really wanted to give everyone a lesson on the fact that red means occupied and white means empty, simple everything time i thought this was the time for evacuation to happen, some moron tried the door and the mood was gone, eventually after 3 days i began to feel like a toxic waste dump, literally and figuratively so asked the nurse for something to release the pressure.....................................
From my bed i could see a big black door that said sluice, and the nurses went in and out all day, what is sluice............. i must say i was too frightened to ask.................................. i think i will just let my imagination answer that one.....................
By the third night, i could not take the noise any longer and asked for a sleeping pill, what a pleasure it should be standard issue in hospital, at least that way you get some rest, although somehow i am not sure that you ae supposed to take it at 10 pm in the evening, which seemed to be the time that they were handed them out every evening.
I am glad to be home...............................