Goodbye

Last Sunday night i got one of those calls we all hate, at 12.30 am my phone rang, and as i answered i heard "Moms gone" at first i could not understand what the caller was saying, as i did not know who it was, and then the words again, "Moms gone", in my half sleeping state i still not not connect the words to something that meant anything to me, as my Mom died 4 years ago and my Dad almost 6 years ago, and then i heard its Dad, Mom's gone............ and the realisation that my mother in law had passed away began to sink in. He gave me the details how she had died while watching tv and knitting a blanket for my daughter she had, had a heart attack. I told him i would get his son to call him back and then i had the task of telling my husband his Mom had just died. There was no tears just disbelief and a whole lot of questions................ we talked into the night, because he wanted to share memories of his Mom with me. I had never really gotten close to her, she was a very quiet, timid person with not much to say and completely controlled by time. i remember once arriving there after a 12 hour trip and desperate for tea, only to be told that it was not yet time for tea.................................. i could not believe it.
My husband did not want to fly down for the funeral, because that would have taken 4 hours and he hates airports so instead he wanted to drive which entailed about 9 hours of driving, because "apparently" that is how long it took him to do the trip in December . So Wednesday afternoon we began the trip to our over night stop. We should have been there by 7 pm but with all the road works there was 5 one way stages where we had waits from 20 to 10 minutes, and then you had to drive slowly because you were either on dirt, on half tar, half dirt or were balancing on the edge of what appeared to be the new road, we eventually arrived at our destination at 9.30 starving because we had not had lunch or supper, we stopped at a restaurant and then arrived at where we were going to spend the night at about 11.30 absolutely exhausted. When we woke up the next morning the view was worth it all, absolutely spectacular but even more so was our own private sulpher pool. The smell left a lot to be disired like someone who had been eating eggs and it had been " fermenting' in their bowels for weeks, you had to almost not breath to get past the smell, but the experience was well worth it. Tiny bubbles, come out of the ground and as they come up they stick to your skin, so you are almost completely covered in little bubbles you felt like
a big bubble in your bubble bath, as you touched your skin they would all release and float to the surface of the pool. After an hour or so, our stomachs and the road were calling us to go on, i can tell you my skin has never felt so soft.
We arrived at our destination 24 hours after we had left home, actual driving time 12 hours............. someone lied.............
We then had to go to the hall to set up the tables for the next day, i am afraid i gave the old goats a heart attack, the layout of the tables was awful and so i "rearraged" the furniture much to their horror as it had never been done like that before, but the next day they had to give in and agreed it not only looked better but was also had much more functunaltiy.......... one for the younger generation...................................
My youngest daughter loves going to EL she loves her cousin, whenever she sees him, she runs takes one leap and ends up hanging form his neck, she couldn't see him on Thursday when we arrived as he was working so the first time she saw him was at the funeral, i saw her expression when she saw him and it was almost in slow motion she started running towards him and all i could think of was please don't jump ........................ please don't jump not exactly apppropriate behavior for a funeral....................
The funeral was much bigger than i expected with approx 60 people there, it is sad when families drift so far apart that they
only get to see one another at weddings and funerals, the minister was very good, talking about the fact that death was one appointment that you could not delay, cancel or postpone, so you had better be prepared..........................
I did not cry at all, until i had to read my sister in laws letter to her mom, and that was probably the hardest thing i have ever had to do................ the tears just flowed as memories of my own mom came flooding back.............................
My father in law took it badly when he realised that the coffin had gone and for the first time ever i really felt sorry for him, because i really don't know how he will cope without my mother in law ...........................
The wake was like a family reunion full of promises to keep in touch to visit one another promises that seem to fade faster than falling snow flakes as people get back to their own lives.................