Monday, November 2, 2009

Who are you

A few blogs ago I spoke about how we wear a mask, and how people very rarely see the true person, that we are, I however am beginning to believe that if someone cares enough they will always be able to see through the mask, if they are willing to try a little harder, they will always be able to break down the walls, the masks we put on are actually to protect ourselves from the hurt and the pain that is inflicted on us, in the place that should be our sanctuary our homes…………..

This is the place where we should be built up, the place that we can go, to for comfort, for guidance, for direction, for assistance, for love, and most of all for acceptance of ourselves just the way we are, with all our imperfections, with all our problems with all our hang-ups………….

Instead of this we get ridicule, insults, and abuse ……….. either mental abuse being told that you are ugly, stupid, no one would want you, and my personnal favourite that you am so evil the church should collapse when you enter it …… and the swearing the foul language…… all of this whether you partner likes to see it or not is mental abuse………..

Or emotional abuse where you are not good enough to ever go out with your partner, to ever be taken out in a one to one setting, not good enough to have the partner pay their way, or take any responsibility for the lives of their children, not good enough to have there love, but you are always good enough when they have “THE NEED”, then all of a sudden, your nickname is used, and boy are they so sweet, and then they wonder why you just cringe at their touch, and want nothing to do with them…………. Which then starts the mental abuse again because now you are having an affair, and you are seeing someone and you are “getting it “ somewhere else …………… when in fact they are the problem but they would never see that because in their eyes they are perfect, to themselves they are “demi gods” who can never do any wrong and anything that goes wrong is always someone else’s fault ………. Normally yours …………………

Then there is the physical abuse, all this is just to make themselves feel better, to make themselves be someone ……….. when in fact it makes them a nobody ……….. a poor excuse for a human.

All of these abuses, show an inferiority complex, shows a part of their character which is so none existent that they need to makes other feel small, so that they can feel big, as this is probably the only time in their lives when they actually feel like they are someone……… like they are better than someone else…..

Then I got to thinking is it just the people we live with that brings out the very worst in, us, because we were never really meant to be together, our outlooks , our views on life, our desire to help others, our need for friendship, and our need to be accepted as we are, was really never part of the relationship to start with we just thought that it was there.

What I do know is that everyone has their breaking point, that time, when it is time to cut their losses and move on ……. To leave the abuse behind

And find someone who can appreciate them for who they are ………. Not who they think they are ………. Or who they want them to be .

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