I decided long ago, that the stork can and does make mistakes, that it has a wicked sense of humour, and that it must have been exhausted the day it was hired to deliver me, it was after all, the year of the Baby Boom..... it dropped me off in the wrong part of the world, too lazy to fly all the way North to my real parents, because I know, I believe, I feel it in my bones, that I should have been born to a family of Eskimo's in the middle of the ice fields of Alasca or in the Siberian Wastelands where the temperatures reach -40 on a warm day... well maybe not that cold.
My children tell everyone how they were the only children in the country that had to wear a hat, gloves and scarf in the car and then take them off when they get out of the car, that I have the only car in the world that steams up on the outside, because the inside is colder than the outside....
At the age of 8 my parents moved to South Africa,the land of Sunshine, and I have been melting slowly ever since. "Normal" people dream of lying on beaches roasting in the sun, smothered in sun tan lotion, with a martini.... shaken not stirred of course, me, well, I dream of checking in as a guest at the Ice Hotel, drinking sherry out of Ice glasses and sleeping on a bed of ice, wrapped up in a cocoon of fur, watching the Northern Lights, bliss.
But as Summer arrives and the temperatures rise daily, with new records are being broken the hottest September in 160 years, hottest day in October since records began, temperatures edging up the mercury on my thermometer, to almost boiling point, they have already hit the 34 degrees mark...... and November has just started.
I wish that stork had dropped me off somewhere else.................somewhere COLD