Laughter

They say there is no tonic like laughter and they are so right, we really have done nothing but laugh for days, in fact i think that is all we have done................
Everything is a joke, and my sides are constantly sore from laughing but, some of the highlight laughers are ..............................
On our first night we were playing 30 seconds, a game where y0u get the answer and you have to get other people to guess the answer i love playing games but seldom get people at home who will play with me, My brother in law was asking my sister in law the question as they were on the same team, and he said the answer is what he is and does everyday, the answers we got were "farmer", "shopkeeper", and an "arsehole" was slipped in there and when he had to give us the answer it was "The Good Samaritan"......................... well we just rolled on the floor, we could not believe it............
Then when we went to the braai, we were invited to the braai, when we got there they were all fixing the TV, nothing had been done, we started the fire ourselves, my brother in law as ususal had an enornmous fire, to braai a few pieces of meat, when we were leaving i saw a pile of wood with a grid on, and thought that the braai had melted, everyone laughed at me............................
My sister in law was telling us of the time she was coming back from Gauteng, and there was storm clouds billowing over the mountains, and she wanted to take some photos because it looked so beautiful, well when she got home and looked at the photos she had been holding the camera the wrong way, and had taken pictures, of her had, half her head and the stearing wheel........................
Then my daughter was telling me how when my sister in law had bent over to pick something up and she had "squeaked" ....................... i wondered what they were laughing at.............
Right now they are all playing hangman, and it is just laughter, have you ever heard of a "bongo muffin" .................................
It will be really difficult when we have to leave and go back to the real world................. but we still have some time left.............. to laugh ........................

Christmas Eve

What a lovely Christmas Eve we had full of laughter just the tonic that the doctor ordered, I had not realised just how uptight and stressed i was, i looked into the mirror yesterday and saw that i no longer had the black bags under my eyes, i am sleeping through and feel really good, and i realised even though it was hard to leave my eldest daughter behind at this, her favourite time of year, i don't think i could have faced Christmas at home, it is really painful to know that your whole life is going to change, and you are going to be the cause of it, but for once in my life i am going to do what every one else does and just worry about me.....................

We were up early in the morning and had breakfast in Port Alfred at a strange little Tea garden, which is really small and nothing to look at but the atmosphere is amazing, in line with our holiday policy i threw caution to the wind and had a scone with cream, jam and cheese for breakfast, i must admit that i felt guilty but i enjoyed it never the less, we then did our first Christmas shopping................................ i had said that i wanted nothing to do with Christmas this year...................... but i eventually gave in and although i had promised myself that i would not buy any gifts until after Christmas i just could not do it................ so admitted defeat and bought just a few presents,which i hope will be liked by their thoughtfulness and not their price, although i must say i did manage to keep the presents within the limit i had given myself.

We then spent the rest of the morning in Bathurst which is really such a friendly town, so many gift shops and craft shops that you are really spoiled for choice................ we had lunch at the hotel, and since we were here last year the place has really gone down, the service was worse than bad .................. it was disgusting ................. we waited so long that eventually i just paid for what we had, had and left.................. i hope that someone does something it cannot take 45 minutes to pour two cold drinks no matter how busy you are.................. we bought some beautiful and i hope unusual gifts.

We then went to the lighthouse the view is amazing i think that this is one of the most beautiful views in the whole of the Eastern Cape, where else can you have a 280 degree view of the sea.

I had hoped to go up the light house this time, but again time became a problem and the tour was already full, we needed to be back by 2pm because my daughter had promised to help hand out sweet parcels to the local children. The last two nights have been a party at the shop the people loved the music and flocked to join in the party, which was really good for business ......... but for me if i heard " If i marry me will you marry me" once more there could have been severe consequences for someone...................

We spent the evening with Matthew and Genine, and we really had a good laugh, we tried out their new dining room i would never have thought that red was a good colour for a room, but it looks absolutely stunning, so warm and rich.............. it was quite funny we were invited for the braai, but they were busy putting in a new TV, definately a blood relative cannot wait for "the right moment" has do do it right now, so we ended up starting the fire and braaiing the meat .................... but it was worth it we had such fun, and laughed almost as much as when we played 30 seconds the other evening.

What a great way to spend the evening ........................ Christmas tomorrow ............... the worst day of the year, i just don't like Christmas i am not sure whether it has to do with the weather, or whether it is because you go to so much time and trouble and it is over so quickly ....................................

Circus

I just love the circus there is something, so exciting about going to the circus, it seems like a life full of adventure, of travel of meeting new people everyday, i am sure however that if you ask the people in the circus they would have a completely different story to tell.

My daughter had seen the circus and she asked if we could go, to make sure that we got a good place i phoned to book a "good seat" we had to pick up the tickets 1 hour before the show started.......... which was really silly, because the place was only half full.

We were shown to our seats, i did not realise that i had booked the VIP seats, and they were in the front row, right opposite the curtain the best seats in the house or so we thought.............

The people next to us were really strange the lady had on a tiny and i mean tiny black sequined dress so short that if she coughed you would see what she had for breakfast............. with high heeled shoes she wobbled herself to her seat......... the best is yet to come ...............

We were about two seconds into the show when the heavens opened, i don't mean just rain i mean sheets of water and i of course would be sitting under the only hole in the entire tent, you will be amazed at how wet one tiny drop of water can make you, i had to move up and up and up...................

I had gone to work in the morning in a skirt and high heeled shoes, but had felt uncomfortable about going to the circus in a skirt, and thank goodness i could have looked the lady in the black sequinned dress, so my daughter and i went to the local store and bought a cheap pair of plastic shoes the only pair in a size 7, and a cheap pair of black 3/4 pants................. which i went into the docters car park and quickly changed before we went to the circus........ i am so glad, because 15 minutes into the rain storm a river started flowing from the back of the tent, under our chair and into the arena................. one minute my feet were dry the next minute we were wet up to our ankles............. obviously we had to move as they began digging up the front to divert the water away from the arena................ where the "artists" were having somewhat of a hard time.................. not to mention the lady in the sequinned dress as as she stood up, her dressed had creeped up and was wedged between the cheeks of her but............................. we really tried so hard not to laugh.....................................

The trapeeze artists were coming into the arena with their skin tight leotards on and wellington boots.............. although i must admit they were brightly coloured and looked quite cute, they were definitely not too impressed by the fact that when they got to the top of the tent, they were literally getting showered with the water that was coming in through the holes around the poles that kept the tent up................

The guys who were spinning the plates had the worst deal, the plates would just not spin when they got wet and kept falling off all over the place ........................

Even with the rain, we had a really good time and laughed a lot ............................ i really like the circus................... full of adventure and fun .......................

Changes

When i started to blog i wanted to make some changes in my life but for a million and one reasons including my daughters wedding i found myself in a situation where i needed to leave things as they were. But the Monday after the wedding i went and started putting things in place to eventually start the changes i had promised myself at the beginning of last year i went, to a lawyer and filed for a divorce. And although my husband will always be my first love, the father to my children, and i will deep down always love him, i am no longer prepared to except the disappearing acts, the unwillingness to pay his share, and the total lack of affection for anyone but himself, and the stories he makes up either because he believes they are real, or to cover up what he is doing in his own life.

To get away from the stress and the mudane, my youngest daughter and i decided to go on a "road trip" after her Dad had informed her he would see her after Christmas,no Christmas present no pocket money, nothing and what fun we have had so far we decided to do everything different than we usually do it, we could not chose the food we normally ate, we could not eat at the places we would normally eat ,we are not allowed to drink what we would normally drink.
We sang all the way in the car with no one telling us to be quiet, we refused to eat at Wimpy's and instead had amazing meals at incredible restaurants, when we arrived at our over night stop, we changed and spent hours in the pool cooling off............... what a relaxing end to a long drive.
Supper was different very nice and very different, a tiny little restaurant, the service was amazing the food was good, and i finished with a Vanilla Coffee.......................jummy................... will definately have one of those again.............
The next morning, we had a leasurely breakfast, and we were back on the road, spend an hour shopping in Queenstown, which has the best Mr Price in South Africa, i have never in my life stood in such a long queue, the queue was down from the till and down the entire lenght of the shop, there must hae been about 60 people in front of us, but my daughter had found the "perfect" outfit so in the queue we stood and stood and stood..............................
When we arrived in East London we went to a place on the beach and had a milkshake, we had a Blue Dolphin Shake, which you would think would be blue, we still do not know what it was, it was brown??? My daughter is going withj Horlicks, and i am going with "just awful" and we
just watched the sea, the entire trip was amazing we had constant phone calls from people making sure that we were safe, and that we were all on time, our phones never stopped ringing, how blessed we are to be surrounded by such amazing people.
In the evening we played a game "30 seconds" we have never laughed so much, we were 3 teams and my daughter and i won the first round .................
This morning we were up early and spent the morning chilling out on the beach, we got a little sunburnt, but where else can you share a beach with only 30o other people at the height of the holdiday season...................
Tomorrow we are off to Port Alfred for the day, we are meeting some friends there for lunch................... this is the most relaxing holiday i have had in a long time i wonder why...........................................

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The Wedding

The wedding is over, and it was all we could have wished for, the day dawned bright and sunny, i dropped by youngest daughter at the hairdresser, at the crack of dawn, because it was a long and busy day ahead, i then rushed over to the florist, before she dropped the bridal bouquets at the venue, instead of keeping it at the shop for the bride, we discovered early on that although there work was absolutely stunning, they were none of them the brightest crayon in the box............ the sharpest tool in the shed ................ and they were stunning, when my daughter gets an idea, she know exactly what she wants and how to make it a reality, the bridesmaid flowers were in silver tin handbags, with white roses peeping out of the top, and the brides bouquet, was stunning, with its green and white flowers.

As i rushed the bridesmaids all four of them between hair and makeup, the only benefit being that i could stay in the car which had the airconditioner on full blast to keep me cool, in more ways than one, the bride was being pampered to a breakfast and a very relaxing morning, by a good friend of mine, she wandered into the hairdresser at about 12 as calm as a cucumber, while we were stressing somewhat, one of the flower girls was caught in traffic so was running late for her hair appointment, the other bridesmaid was still at the "bush " stage and her hair still had to be curled.

The bride was deposited at a friends house, to change and for the first photo's one of over 500 that were taken that day.

When i saw my daughter in her full dress and veil the day before, i began to cry, the wedding was truly a reality, with her hair and makeup on she looked stunning, and as the groom said later in the evening, "She really does clean up well."

My daughter always wanted to drive to her wedding in old cars, and is that is my husbands hobby, she was taken to the wedding venue in two old beige Rovers, which looked stunning with their black and green ribbons, the only downfall too old cars is no air conditioners, luckily the day was not melting hot, just uncomfortable hot........... the trip also took twice as long in the old cars, than we had allowed for, at one point during the trip i think the whole of Heidelberg, was stuck in the traffic jam behind us........

The chapel was tiny and very hot, certainly not built or designed to seat 150 people, our small wedding ended up with 150 people............... at one point i thought i would melt completely and only pools of fat would remain to show i had been there, luckily the weather turned and a breeze came up to cool the chapel down, although the service was in Afrikaans, it was very thought provoking, and very light hearted....... with the minister laughing and joking with the bride and groom.

Then the storm came up, a true Highveld storm, lots of thunder and lightning and a pitch black sky, so the photo phase of the wedding was cut short as people rushed to get inside before the heavens opened, and open they did, at one time you could not hear yourself think above the noise of the rain on the tin roof.

The place looked stunning, in fact the venue owner told me that this was the smartest table wedding she had ever seen, the slide show was fun...... full of old photos of the parents weddings, and the pair as they were growing up, something different............... and then the rain stopped and my daughter go her wish, that all her photos could be taken with the sunset as a back drop and what a sunset it was ....................................

Food was great, the music was great, the people were great, the 150 cup cakes that made up the wedding cake were absolutely stunning, and an amazing time was had by all, at 00.00 i asked that everyone be thrown out as i was not paying extra for the extra time............and as someone said the invitation said "Smart, Casual" and that is exactly what the day was Smart .............. Casual ................

Eight Sleeps

Only eight more sleeps, and my daughter is getting married, she will no longer have the same surname, she will no longer be identifiable by her surname as “one of us”, she will no longer have to pretend at work that we only have the same name and are in no way related, just in case I have had sometime or other put the customers account on hold, she will have a brand new name, one she can be proud of, and her new life will begin.

As I look at her so grown up and mature, so organized something that I thought I would never see, she has lists for everything, she has thought of everything, I am so proud of her, I will be so proud to see her walk down the isle, she has grown into a beautiful young lady, one who is liked by all, someone who has compassion and will help others, someone who people like to be around, who is interesting to talk to, who can make others laugh, someone who has the ability to forgive and forget and move on because life is to short to worry about the small stuff.

When I look at her, I am thankful for all the time I spent with her, the hours in doctors waiting rooms when she got sick, the hours walking up and down trying to comfort her when she was not feeling well, the hours spent lying on her bed because she would not go to sleep, the hours doing homework, the hours testing her when she was writing exams, the hours in the car driving to and from school, the hours driving to and from the stables, the lunches that we have enjoyed together, the Friday afternoon milkshakes …………….. I would not change a moment of it.

They say children are a blessing and I know that I have been blessed by having her in my life, and I would not change a moment of it. But looking back I can see this was a choice on my part, I could have done, what my parents had done and not taken an interest, I could have just been there giving a roof over her head and food on her plate, but I wanted something more, I wanted to build good memories, that she would remember forever, and one day when she has children she can regale to them the “stories” of her mother, good loving stories and happy memories, this is the legacy that I want to leave to her ………………………….

With this wedding she has done so much herself, she handmade every invitation herself, she handmade every place name, she handmade every thank you card.

She taught herself how to make candles and made every candle herself.

She made her own thank you gifts, when it would have been so much easier just to buy them.

She hand made the boxes for her flowers for the tables because she could not find exactly what she wanted at the price she was prepared to pay.

She deserves only the very best on her special day, she deserves for all the dreams she has for this special day to be fulfilled, she deserves the sunset which she ordered months ago, she deserves her dreams to come true ……

Tongue

The bible says that the tongue is mightier than the sword, and that we should use it wisely, with wisdom and with love, and it is so right, words can be are so powerful .............. but also so hurtful ....... and so destructive ............... and often unforgiveable ....... that is why i cannot understand why someone would find the need to use their tongue in a way that could only lead to hurt and anger, to use this muscle to make up stories that are untrue just to hurt someone ........... because no matter how much time passes some words once spoken will never be forgotten ...................... or forgiven ................ there are some words that are just so hurtful that only removing yourself form the presence of the person and from the situation will bring a calm ................... and a healing of the hurt inflicted ...................... and eventually a forgiveness ...................

The bible calls us to forgive 70 x 7 times, but it also advised the disciples when they were treated badly to brush

the dust from their feet as they walked away from the place and to take with them all the blessings they had bestowed upon the household ..................... what to do ............ what to do ................ forgive or walk away .................

I think it is one of the saddest things, when someone cannot fight fair .......... they play childish games, such as name callings and the making up of lies to try and "catch" the person out, these games are only played by someone who has no back bone .............. someone who has nothing to offer ............. someone who is really so pitiful that you cannot help but feel sorry for them ............. because these people they have nothing to offer anyone ............ you see even if the relationship ends and they move on, who they are does not change, a leopard cannot change its spots ............. and what they are can be hidden for a while .................... they can pretend that they are "Mr Nice Guy" but who they are will surface and the cycle will be repeated until they are all alone again ....................

I have learnt that if one person thinks that are bad and 100 worthy people think you are good .................. you are probably good....................... however if you think you are good and this is confirmed by 100 people who drink, swear

and watch filth .................. you probably have a problem .....................................

The tongue is a mighty weapon that should be kept inside your mouth unless you are willing to accept the consequences of using it to hurt ............ belittle ............. and degrade others .............................. the tongue is one of the most powerful tools we have ................. such a pity that so few use it to uplift , motivate and encourage others it is just so much easier to use it to hurt and break people down ...........................