As a child my Mom used to tell me that if i pulled funny faces, my face would stay like that if the wind changed, as a child just like i believed in Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy, i believed her and really tried not to pull any ugly faces, especially if the wind was blowing................. thank goodness, i did not live at the coast where the wind never stops blowing, who knows what kind of trouble i would be in now ..............
As i look in the mirror now, having just had my FIFTIETH birthday, i see the wrinkles, i see the ever deepening laugh lines around my mouth, i see the small age lines on my neck, and i realised that it may be years later, but i am sure .......... no convinced .......... that i am now being punished for all those ugly faces i pulled as a child, and that nature is having its revenge and it is not the wind that is taking revenge, no, revenge is being taken by gravity ....................
There is nothing that is not sagging, slowly, but surely making its way down south ........ and when it reaches true south just what happens then .......................
The "ties" birthdays i have always hated, the 20's , the 30's, the 40's i cried all day, i just did not want to make that transition that crawl from being a teenager, to being in the twenties, that step from being a twenty something "girl" to a thirty something "woman", and then there was the jump from being thirty something
"woman" to being " middle aged" lady a "tannie" at fourty something............. and as my FIFTIETH birthday came as i took that leap from being the "tannie" to being ?????
I am Fifty, and as i look at my face, every line has been earned, every laugh line is caused just by that, years of laughter, years of seeing the funny side of all situations, years of smiling because even with its problems, even when the days were sometimes raining and dark, there was always something to smile about, there was always something which made it all worth while there was always something that made it fun to get up in the
mornings....................... as i look at the wrinkles, each one is earned ......... years of being a mother, sleepless nights, hours in doctors rooms, hours in hospitals, broken bones, broken hearts .............. years of being a career
woman, years of deadlines, years of budgets, forecasts, accounts hours of sleepless nights trying to get accounts to balance, budgets to balance, employees lives to balance ............ years of being a wife , fears of of self doubt, of self worth, of never being good enough ...........
And now i am fifty .............. still in great health, thinner than 70% of the population........... smarter than 80 % of the population............ and more energy than 90 % of the population ....................... and a greater desire to change everything in this my sixth decade than 99.9999% of the population.......... so next time i look in the mirror i will smile because life is good ..................
And i will be thankful because i could have had all these problems ...................
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