Sunday, January 24, 2010

Memories in the Mist

Early in  the  misty, misty morning  heading  for another  freeway  jam,  waking up and shivering,  waking  up  and  wishing  it  was  Sunday,  I  wish  it  was  Sunday. (Albert Hammond)


When  i  woke  up  this  morning, this  song  was  going  around, and around  in  my head,  you see   it  was  of  my favourite  type  of  mornings  it  was  misty,  the  world  was incased  in  a  grey  swirl  of mist,  the trees  looked  as  though  they  were  part  of  some alien  landscape ,  the  roofs  of  the neighbours  houses  hidden  in  the swirling  clouds of  this  strange grey morning,  and  even  the  birds  were not  singing  at  full  vocals  this  morning,  it  is  almost  as  though  they  were waiting .........  waiting  for  what  is  to happen...........waiting  for the day to begin ............. waiting  in anticipation  of  what  the  day  will bring ......................
I  love  this  almost  silence,  just  enough  noise  so  you  don't  feel  alone,  but  quiet  enough  that  you can
think, quiet enough  that  you  can  almost hear  your  own heart  beating,quiet enough  that  you  can  almost  hear  the  thoughts  forming  in  your  brain, quiet  enough  to reflect  on  who  you  are  and  where  you  are  going, and  where  you  have  been,  quiet  and alone  enough  to reflect  on  what  is  to  come.
For  some  reason  it  makes  me  think  of  family and  friends  long  gone,  it reminds  me of  my Gran,  it is  one  of  the  sad  things  about  moving  to  other  countries  you  no  longer  have  time  to spend with  your  relatives,  and  all the  memories  I have  of  her,  are  as  a  little  girl,  since  coming  to  South Africa  I only  saw  my  Gran  two  times in 40 years,  not  counting  the  18 months  I lived  in  England  when I left  school, and  I would  never  do  that  to my own  children,  because  having  a  family  cousins,  aunts,  and  uncles  is  so  important, I was  her  "Blossom"  funny  how  you  remember  these  things  i  haven't  though  about  that  in  years.............. 
It  makes  me  think  of my Mom and  how happy  she  used  to  be,  always  the  life  of  the party,  what  changed  at  what  time  did  she  become  the  bitter  old  lady  who  she  was  when she  died,  I  have  long  forgiven  her,  she's  my Mom  and I  love  her  for  that,  but  I  don't  want to  make  the same  mistakes...............
It  makes  me  think  of  my Dad  always  trying  to  give  us a  good  life,  and  never  quite  getting  it  right,  when  I  think  of  my  Dad, always  happy,  always  laughing,  always broke, and  i  don't  want  to  make  the  same  mistakes.........
It  makes  me  this  of  my "bestest" friend and  the  connection,  a  bond  so  tight  that  over  37  years  no  one  has  been  able  to  break............
It  makes  me  think  of  my  "bestest"  sister  and  joys, sorrows, laughter, anger and tears we have shared
together over the years...............

It makes me think of all the people who have been in my life over the years, all the people who have had a "hand" in who I am today, in what i believe, in what I have become, and  to those  people  who  are  still  going  to  come  into my life  to  help me with, what i still need to achieve..........
THANK YOU ....................... I REALLY COULDN'T  HAVE  DONE  IT  WITHOUT  YOU........
I think  I  can  understand  why  people  get  depressed  in  the  countries  where  they  wake  up  everyday  to  mist,  because  it  does,  somehow,   make  you  look  inside,  and reflect,  and take  stock  of  your  life,  but  for  me the reflection  is  one  of  thanks,  because  I  am  blessed  by  all  the things  good  and bad  that  happened  in  my  life, I am blessed  by  every  experience  happy  or sad,  I  am   blessed  by  every friendship either  long  or  short,  I  am  blessed  by every  person  I  have  ever  loved,  lasting  or  not,  because  all of  this,  made  me  who  I  am .......................  and  I  like  who  I  am .....................

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