Levy

What do you do with a dog like Levy, if you have seen the movie Marley and Me, you might just get an idea of what a Labrador can get up to, he just doesn't stop.
I cannot believe his latest escapade, he was very restless last night, and just could not settle he must have woken me up about 15 times, i think more for company than anything else, he "pretends" that he wants to go to the toilet, so up i get, i "sleep" walk to the door, i open it he goes out side looks around, wags his tail and then comes back in, it is so frustrating,
not to mention, cold, annoying and extremely irratating, but i decided a long time ago, rather to get no sleep than get up in the morning to one of his steaming, smelling, cow size "dung heaps"............. and for some reason i am the only person in the house that has the "power" that can clean one of these "dung heaps " up.............................
This morning, when i left for work, i thought he was walking very funny, and he just did not look right, but there again what is right for Levy, when i got home we decided to take him to the vet, just to check him out, i really did not feel like another night when i am walking up and down the passage like a ghost looking for a resting place, or like a lost fart in a perfume factory, to let him out to "pretend" to wee.
Well a visit to the vet is always a "pleasure" our vet has the driest sense of humour of any person i know, he asked us to wait while he finished counting his inventory, i noticed that the place now looks like Fort Knox apparently they had a robbery there the other day, i mean who robs a vet, how much cash do they think they carry, or maybe they were hoping for some kind of scarce cat or dog that they could sell on the black market...........................
Well the vet checked Levy out and the verdict was he is "pale" how on earth do you tell that a dog is pale.............and he is suffering from shock because he has.................................. a broken tail, yes that is what he has a broken tail............. apparently this is a very common thing in cats and dogs, but i have never heard about it before.......now he could have obtained said broken tail in a couple of ways, the vet is leaning towards it being run over by a car..................... this opens a world of possibilities who was the driver of the car............ surely he would have made a noice if someone ran over his tail.......... i mean what does he do, lie in the driveway with his tail sticking out so that someone can ride over it?? He definately cannot get out of the garden so the damage to said tail had to happen in the yard...................... everyone is eyeing everyone else out very suspiciously................
I must say the vet was of the opinion that it is my daughter because number one, her car looks like it belongs to someone who can't drive, three dents at the last count............. and he actually saw her drive the other day, and confirmed my suspicions that she is a very bad driver, in fact the vet feels that i should actually sue the driving school who taught her to drive because they obviously did not do a very good job................
The second way he could have broken his tail is if someone slammed it in a door or a gate?? Again everyone is looking at everyone else with very suspicious looks................. will we ever know, not unless we can teach Levy to talk........... then get him into therapy............ because you can imagine how traumatic a broken tail must be............ they will then hypnotise him and he can go back to the day of the "deed" and reveal all.............
In the meantime if the tail is not better in 7 days, 1 week, 6 sleeps, then the tail has to go.......................... i wonder what a labrador will look like with no tail, i really hope that we don't have to find out...................