Life

Why is so hard, why is it that it takes so much to make us stop and look at our lives, stop and look at the mistakes we have made. And what do we do when we realise that we are the one who through our own inability to see what is happening around us, gets to a place in our lives where there is just no going forward without changing everything you have known everything that you have worked for, and everything you have believed in for as long as you can remember...........................
Life knows what is happening................................ it tries to warn us , it tries to tell us what is going to be, but we walk with blinkers on, because it is just to dangerous to look beyond the now, to look at what can be, to look at what should be, to look at what we deserve to be, so life takes things into its own hands, it throws a rock, it throws a rock, and then it just flattens you with a 1 ton boulder to get your attention............................... and you know no matter what the time has come to take your life back, to take back what you have given to others with nothing in return, to take back you from the darkness which surrounds you like a thick mist......... blinding you from what you know you need to do.
Tonight i had a long conversation with someone who is very close to me someone who i have admired for as long as i can remember, someone who taught me about table decorations, and how to present food, how to bring up children, someone who i tried so hard to be like, when i first met her i was a little in awe of her, she has such presence, such self assurance, someone with so much class, with so much taste, someone who is interesting to talk to, who cooks like a master chef, who can grow anything that is green, someone who appreciates the finer things in life because that is what she was used to, that is what she expected from life and that is what she deserves to have.............. .......... someone who has reached the end of her rope, someone who is prepared to give up everthing she has, everything she has ever worked for, because she is not prepared to lose her dignity, not prepared to sacrifice her pride, not prepared to end up like the people who are part of her life, living from day to day, each day drinking more and more, not seeing the spiral that is becoming their life, not seeing there is nothing left, , no warmth, nothing to talk about, nothing to share with one another, nothing........................
What a big step........... what courage................. but she can hold her head up high she is not prepared to sacrifice one more day of her life to people who are not worthy to be a part of it......................
What an example, what a lesson for me to learn...................... before the rock hits home..........................