Well i have had a really mixed up week, it is like i am having to take a look at life differently, it is like i am being made to look at what i have , look at what i have not............ and to look at where i am going.................
It started with the funeral on Monday, and that got me thinking about, how we don't know when our last day will be..................... it could be tomorrow, and if it is what do we wish we had done, what would we do differently if we knew that tomorrow was our last day, if tomorrow was all we got how would i spend it..............................
On Wednesday i had a day off work, it just happened to fall on the same day that we as a church had decided to fast, it was a really busy day, i had some appointments and then i had to pick up my daughter and a friend to take them to the dermatologist, i took them for lunch and sat and watched them eat, it was different.................. I realised that i was not really getting much out of the fast, i tried to pray.......... i tried to be still.............. i tried to listen........... but all i felt was hungry and annoyed, a feeling that stayed with me all day.
On Friday i went to pray with my prayer partner as i do every Friday, and i shared the problem i was having with the fasting, she told me about a book, which i had already bought but since as i had never had the "need" to fast, or as i said "called to fast i had never bothered to read the book, what i didn't realise was that we are all called to pray, give and to fast, what was i thinking when i read over the verses that state this quite clearly..........................
I started the book on Saturday and i couldn't put it down, it all fell into place the piece of the puzzle, that piece of my walk that was missing............. fasting made sense....................
I am going to fast again this week, but fast this time it will be with the knowledge we are biblically called to fast, it will be with the right frame of mind, and it will be with the purpose of getting answers to questions, that i have needed to ask for some time.
Because we are planning a retreat my prayer partner and i have decided to fast every Friday for the retreat, one Friday for every woman who is going to be there, one Friday that we can make a difference no matter how small in the life of each woman who will be there............ the Power of the Praying wife.
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Monday, June 22, 2009
Death
Today i went to a funeral, a lady that i know, from church, i realise now that i really did not know her very well, she died of cancer within a few months of getting sick, she was fine one week and then we never saw her again...................... i am not sure why i wanted to go, but i had "that" feeling and knew that i needed to go, and say goodbye................... maybe because my own parents funerals just did not feel right, and i think today i discovered what was missing......................... It was GOD.
I started going to church after my Dad died 5 years ago, it feels like it was yesterday, but i did not want to have a funeral in a chapel, that was next to the butcher the baker or the candlestick maker, i once went to a funeral in the middle of a town, with the day to day things going on around, there was in fact a butcher shop next door, and there was just no warmth, there was no God at that funeral and it just did not feel right.
At my Dad's funeral which was in a small chapel at a church he never went to, given by a minister who did not know him, there was no warmth there was no God.
At my Mums funeral which was in a large chapel, given my a minister who had a hair on his tongue and spent the entire time, trying to remove said hair, with a pianist, that really needed some lessons, the tune and the words were just not quite in time.
I wanted a funeral at a church where everyone knew me, where the minister knew my name, knew what kind of person i was, what my dreams and my desires were, where he could talk from the heart, and not saywords like "i believe that Karen liked reading".................. or "i have been told that Karen was a avid blogger"........................l i wanted someone who knew me.
When i started going to church, the love of God and the fellowship of his people grew like a tidal wave in me, and the more i got involved the more at peace i felt, and the more at peace i felt the more involved i got.
My husband refuses to go with me to church now, because i have so many friends to say hello to before i get to the pew................ and he really doesn't know anyone, he choses not to get involved, he choses not to go to church, at one point he said if we went to another church where we didn't know anyone, he would go........... the truth is i would want to get involved in the new church, and he wouldn't and we would be back to square one, so i am staying right here, in my church, in my family of Christ.
I realised today that we do not know when our time is, we do not know the year, the day or the hour, that God has decided will be the day that we join him in heaven............................... but i realised today, if my day is tomorrow i am ready..........................................
I started going to church after my Dad died 5 years ago, it feels like it was yesterday, but i did not want to have a funeral in a chapel, that was next to the butcher the baker or the candlestick maker, i once went to a funeral in the middle of a town, with the day to day things going on around, there was in fact a butcher shop next door, and there was just no warmth, there was no God at that funeral and it just did not feel right.
At my Dad's funeral which was in a small chapel at a church he never went to, given by a minister who did not know him, there was no warmth there was no God.
At my Mums funeral which was in a large chapel, given my a minister who had a hair on his tongue and spent the entire time, trying to remove said hair, with a pianist, that really needed some lessons, the tune and the words were just not quite in time.
I wanted a funeral at a church where everyone knew me, where the minister knew my name, knew what kind of person i was, what my dreams and my desires were, where he could talk from the heart, and not saywords like "i believe that Karen liked reading".................. or "i have been told that Karen was a avid blogger"........................l i wanted someone who knew me.
When i started going to church, the love of God and the fellowship of his people grew like a tidal wave in me, and the more i got involved the more at peace i felt, and the more at peace i felt the more involved i got.
My husband refuses to go with me to church now, because i have so many friends to say hello to before i get to the pew................ and he really doesn't know anyone, he choses not to get involved, he choses not to go to church, at one point he said if we went to another church where we didn't know anyone, he would go........... the truth is i would want to get involved in the new church, and he wouldn't and we would be back to square one, so i am staying right here, in my church, in my family of Christ.
I realised today that we do not know when our time is, we do not know the year, the day or the hour, that God has decided will be the day that we join him in heaven............................... but i realised today, if my day is tomorrow i am ready..........................................
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Childrens birthday parties
Last weekend i helped to arrange a 21st birthday party, which was fantastic, we partied until
1 o'clock the following morning, we laughed, we danced, we mingled, without a single drop of alcohol being consumed by anyone, we were all high on life, and it was amazing. On the way to the party, my daughter said to me, that it would be over by 10 o'clock because there was no drinking, this had been a specific request from the really exceptional young man who was turning 21, he had insisted that there was to be no alcohol at his party, i think that his father really abused alcohol at some time, and he did not want to put temptation in his path, even the champagne we toasted with was alcohol free.
We had a young DJ, playing the music, who while not the best in the world kept everyone on the dance floor, the food was absolutely amazing, the highlight for me was the small video clip of this young man, from birth to this, his 21st birthday, it absolutely left everyone with tears in their eyes, and as much as i tried............................. because i did not have water resistant mascara on................... even I went through 4 tissues.
What an amazing example this young man set to the youth group to show that you do not need drugs and alcohol to make a party tick.
This week i went to a 6 year olds birthday party, and the alcohol flowed like water, my niece was more than a little concerned about the fact that so many people were drinking, she was really angry that people were drinking so much at her daughters party, she was worried that her mom would drink too much and embarress herself, my heart went out to her, as all she wanted was a quiet afternoon party for her beautiful 6 year old daughters birthday party...................... she had gone to so much trouble, there was games for all the children, there were sweets, of every colour shape and size, there was hamburgers and hotdogs....her concern was would it be ruined by people drinking..........................
It really got me thinking about people and their lives, in all fairness, who has too much to drink at a 6 year olds birthday party.............................. what kind of example are we setting in the minds of these small children, what example of life are we giving them that they will take into their teen years and beyond..............................................
Surely a 6 year olds party is about playing games, and eating too much cake and spilling cold drink all over, and laughter and ballons, and the blowing out of candles, and the opening of presents, and being the centre of attention for the day, since when did childrens birghday parties become, bottles of wine and whisky, what is it that we as adults need, do we drink to dim the pain of live, do we drink to forget the problems, that we have, do we drink to face our responsibilites, is life so hard, is it so difficult that we cannot even think of someone else even a six year old on her special day on her birthday, have we become so selfish that we can not do this even for an afternoon.................................................
1 o'clock the following morning, we laughed, we danced, we mingled, without a single drop of alcohol being consumed by anyone, we were all high on life, and it was amazing. On the way to the party, my daughter said to me, that it would be over by 10 o'clock because there was no drinking, this had been a specific request from the really exceptional young man who was turning 21, he had insisted that there was to be no alcohol at his party, i think that his father really abused alcohol at some time, and he did not want to put temptation in his path, even the champagne we toasted with was alcohol free.
We had a young DJ, playing the music, who while not the best in the world kept everyone on the dance floor, the food was absolutely amazing, the highlight for me was the small video clip of this young man, from birth to this, his 21st birthday, it absolutely left everyone with tears in their eyes, and as much as i tried............................. because i did not have water resistant mascara on................... even I went through 4 tissues.
What an amazing example this young man set to the youth group to show that you do not need drugs and alcohol to make a party tick.
This week i went to a 6 year olds birthday party, and the alcohol flowed like water, my niece was more than a little concerned about the fact that so many people were drinking, she was really angry that people were drinking so much at her daughters party, she was worried that her mom would drink too much and embarress herself, my heart went out to her, as all she wanted was a quiet afternoon party for her beautiful 6 year old daughters birthday party...................... she had gone to so much trouble, there was games for all the children, there were sweets, of every colour shape and size, there was hamburgers and hotdogs....her concern was would it be ruined by people drinking..........................
It really got me thinking about people and their lives, in all fairness, who has too much to drink at a 6 year olds birthday party.............................. what kind of example are we setting in the minds of these small children, what example of life are we giving them that they will take into their teen years and beyond..............................................
Surely a 6 year olds party is about playing games, and eating too much cake and spilling cold drink all over, and laughter and ballons, and the blowing out of candles, and the opening of presents, and being the centre of attention for the day, since when did childrens birghday parties become, bottles of wine and whisky, what is it that we as adults need, do we drink to dim the pain of live, do we drink to forget the problems, that we have, do we drink to face our responsibilites, is life so hard, is it so difficult that we cannot even think of someone else even a six year old on her special day on her birthday, have we become so selfish that we can not do this even for an afternoon.................................................
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Music and Life
My daughter left her CD case in my car the other day, she had needed to use my car, a bakkie to load some shelving for a scrap booking day she was attending, which of course was no problem for me, as i just love driving a "normal" car for a change, i can at least "dice" from robot to robot, which is something that i don't even attempt in my gas guzzling "tank", i can reverse park in a street parking, and don't have to drive around until i can get a parking that i can just drive straight into......... and i can go round corners without having to move my hands on the steering wheel............... i know its sad......... that such small things could bring me so much joy, but i think i am beginning to convince myself that my next mode of transport, is going to be a normal car, with a boot, in to which i can put my shopping, and not be afraid, as i am at present, because it is visible on the back seat, some affirmative shopper, or previously disadvantaged person, is going to break into my car and steal it.
When we swopped cars back she had left her CD case in my car, I realised that both my daughters have "unusual" taste in music, very much like my Dad who would listen to anything, my daughter has Cd's covering rock, country, ballads, instumental, religious music and Afrikaans music, she i must admit, does not have the horror of all music "house" music which my youngest daughter is just mad about, and which she delights on inflicting on me almost every opportunity that she gets, i am afraid or maybe i should say embarrassed to say that i like songs i can hear the words too , words that actually make sense and are grammatically acceptable, and that you can sing along to, without having to miss all the swear words.............One of the CD's she did have was by Shane Ward, ( i think that it his name, but i would like to stand under correction, because with my music knowledge i could be mistaken) which when i gave the CD case back to her, she assured me i could keep because she never listens to it, maybe my daughters are to advanced for such simple and cleancut songs..............
One of the songs on the Cd really touched a cord in my heart, i am not sure what the title of the song is, i am terrible with songs and music, the Backstreet Boys, Westlife and Boys to Men all sound like the same group to me, luckily my children are aware of this and have learned to interpret who i am talking about............., in fact i sometimes think that they are the only ones who understand me when it comes to talking music.
The words tell of people whose, life is just passing by and then one day they take a stand,
" What about me, It isn't fair, i have had enough and i want my share, can't you see I want to live, but you just take more than you give"
How many of us take others for granted, friends, people we work with, how many of us assume that people want to help us, have time to collect, or pick things up for us, and how many of those people are really just doing it because they are afraid to annoy us or dissappoint us...........
How many of us are putting up with situations because we are just afraid to take a stand...................... for me it is time to take that stand............................
" What about me, it isn't fair, i have had enought, and i want my share, can't you see i want to live, but you just take more than you give"
When we swopped cars back she had left her CD case in my car, I realised that both my daughters have "unusual" taste in music, very much like my Dad who would listen to anything, my daughter has Cd's covering rock, country, ballads, instumental, religious music and Afrikaans music, she i must admit, does not have the horror of all music "house" music which my youngest daughter is just mad about, and which she delights on inflicting on me almost every opportunity that she gets, i am afraid or maybe i should say embarrassed to say that i like songs i can hear the words too , words that actually make sense and are grammatically acceptable, and that you can sing along to, without having to miss all the swear words.............One of the CD's she did have was by Shane Ward, ( i think that it his name, but i would like to stand under correction, because with my music knowledge i could be mistaken) which when i gave the CD case back to her, she assured me i could keep because she never listens to it, maybe my daughters are to advanced for such simple and cleancut songs..............
One of the songs on the Cd really touched a cord in my heart, i am not sure what the title of the song is, i am terrible with songs and music, the Backstreet Boys, Westlife and Boys to Men all sound like the same group to me, luckily my children are aware of this and have learned to interpret who i am talking about............., in fact i sometimes think that they are the only ones who understand me when it comes to talking music.
The words tell of people whose, life is just passing by and then one day they take a stand,
" What about me, It isn't fair, i have had enough and i want my share, can't you see I want to live, but you just take more than you give"
How many of us take others for granted, friends, people we work with, how many of us assume that people want to help us, have time to collect, or pick things up for us, and how many of those people are really just doing it because they are afraid to annoy us or dissappoint us...........
How many of us are putting up with situations because we are just afraid to take a stand...................... for me it is time to take that stand............................
" What about me, it isn't fair, i have had enought, and i want my share, can't you see i want to live, but you just take more than you give"
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Chempetre day at the Spa
Three friends and i decided to spoil ourselves and go to the spa for the day, none of us had ever done his before so this was a new experience, we had really battled to find a spa that was open on a Monday and that could accomodate, 4 people at the same time, it took 20 calls but in the end we found Chempetre, and i knew this was the one.
We left home at 7.30 in the morning, and the car was filled with laughter and expectation.
We had all had to go to town the previous day, to acquire some new underwear, i have gone commando for some time now, and needed to buy because i didn't have any, we all eventually went to the same shop, they must have wondered as to what the sudden rush was on pretty, but not sexy underwear.
We were discussing the treatments we were going to have, a Swedish message, was one of the options, it has been on my list of things to do, i wanted a massage by a blonde handsome Swede called Sven.........
We arrived at the place exactly on time, and then the adventure began, we were treated to an amazing breakfast, we had expected a health breakfast, muffins and muesli, but what we got was amazing, crumpets filled with bacon, steak, feta, strawbery jam, gooseberries, pomegranities, peppedews, tomatoes and onions, it was amazing, we discovered that we had our own chef for the day, this is the way to live................. even if is is only for the day.
Although it is the middle of our winter the weather was beautiful and we were able to have breakfast outside on the veranda, overlooking a lake, filled with ducks and geese, it was amazing. Only ten minutes away from one of the busiest highways in South Africa, and yet this place was so peaceful and quiet you could have been a 100 km away from civilisation.
The "treatments" and the laughter then began................
I started with a paraffin manuicure, having to put your hands in boiling paraffin, is really sore, i had to convince myself that this was supposed to be enjoyable, but they say that beauty comes at a price, and i suppose that this is the price that they are talking about, the only thing that was enjoyable was the fact that i had the manicure, while lying on a recliner overlooking the dam, with the sound of fish eagles in the back ground, maybe this was heaven..................
When i had finished with my manicure, one of my friend had hers, ( the others had been whisked away for their body scrub) .....it was so funny, one of the ladies came to take away one of the ottomans, as she lifted it up her cell phone went off, and my friend was convinced that the music was coming from the ottoman........
It was then time for our body scrub, i am still not sure that i liked this experience, it was like having sandpaper going up and down my body, i mean it was salt being scrapped with pressure up and down your body, and when they touched my feet, i could not help but start laughing, they were not to impressed with this behaviour....................... the spa is for peace and quiet, and contemplation.................. well we soon changed that.
Then it was time for my Indian head massage, that was amazing, i really enjoyed that, it was really relaxing, and i did not have the same Amazon woman, who had nearly deskinned me with the body scrub, this was really nice, by hair however, did not agree and i spent the rest of the day looking like the grease monkey from an Amercian movie..........ugh.............
Then we had lunch, we were told it was going to be a light lunch, when we saw the salad on the table we thought that was the light lunch................ put our chef did not let us down, we had the amazing, mash potatoes, steak, onions and vegetables, covered in an amazing sauce, it was a feast fit for a king............ oh wait a minute.......... fit for a queen and i was the queen...................
We laughed all through lunch, and one of the ladies from the spa commented that she had never heard so much laughter..............
After lunch i had my pedicure, now anyone who knows me, knows that i have a thing about feet, for me feet are really ugly, and i really hate it when someone touches my feet, well i enjured the pedicure, not with a lot of dignity i might add..................
I then had my HOT stone massage, they really do not warn you what to expect and i can tell you those stones were HOT HOT HOT, but once the burning had stopped it was a very relaxing exprience.
And then my favourite thing of the day the facial, gentle pressure very relaxing, in fact i woke myself up snoring twice.........................
Then we had some hot chocolate................... and the day was finished, It was one of the most relaxing days i have ever spent, but for me what made it even more special was the company.............
It will be awhile before i can afford to do this again.......... but what an experience.........
We left home at 7.30 in the morning, and the car was filled with laughter and expectation.
We had all had to go to town the previous day, to acquire some new underwear, i have gone commando for some time now, and needed to buy because i didn't have any, we all eventually went to the same shop, they must have wondered as to what the sudden rush was on pretty, but not sexy underwear.
We were discussing the treatments we were going to have, a Swedish message, was one of the options, it has been on my list of things to do, i wanted a massage by a blonde handsome Swede called Sven.........
We arrived at the place exactly on time, and then the adventure began, we were treated to an amazing breakfast, we had expected a health breakfast, muffins and muesli, but what we got was amazing, crumpets filled with bacon, steak, feta, strawbery jam, gooseberries, pomegranities, peppedews, tomatoes and onions, it was amazing, we discovered that we had our own chef for the day, this is the way to live................. even if is is only for the day.
Although it is the middle of our winter the weather was beautiful and we were able to have breakfast outside on the veranda, overlooking a lake, filled with ducks and geese, it was amazing. Only ten minutes away from one of the busiest highways in South Africa, and yet this place was so peaceful and quiet you could have been a 100 km away from civilisation.
The "treatments" and the laughter then began................
I started with a paraffin manuicure, having to put your hands in boiling paraffin, is really sore, i had to convince myself that this was supposed to be enjoyable, but they say that beauty comes at a price, and i suppose that this is the price that they are talking about, the only thing that was enjoyable was the fact that i had the manicure, while lying on a recliner overlooking the dam, with the sound of fish eagles in the back ground, maybe this was heaven..................
When i had finished with my manicure, one of my friend had hers, ( the others had been whisked away for their body scrub) .....it was so funny, one of the ladies came to take away one of the ottomans, as she lifted it up her cell phone went off, and my friend was convinced that the music was coming from the ottoman........
It was then time for our body scrub, i am still not sure that i liked this experience, it was like having sandpaper going up and down my body, i mean it was salt being scrapped with pressure up and down your body, and when they touched my feet, i could not help but start laughing, they were not to impressed with this behaviour....................... the spa is for peace and quiet, and contemplation.................. well we soon changed that.
Then it was time for my Indian head massage, that was amazing, i really enjoyed that, it was really relaxing, and i did not have the same Amazon woman, who had nearly deskinned me with the body scrub, this was really nice, by hair however, did not agree and i spent the rest of the day looking like the grease monkey from an Amercian movie..........ugh.............
Then we had lunch, we were told it was going to be a light lunch, when we saw the salad on the table we thought that was the light lunch................ put our chef did not let us down, we had the amazing, mash potatoes, steak, onions and vegetables, covered in an amazing sauce, it was a feast fit for a king............ oh wait a minute.......... fit for a queen and i was the queen...................
We laughed all through lunch, and one of the ladies from the spa commented that she had never heard so much laughter..............
After lunch i had my pedicure, now anyone who knows me, knows that i have a thing about feet, for me feet are really ugly, and i really hate it when someone touches my feet, well i enjured the pedicure, not with a lot of dignity i might add..................
I then had my HOT stone massage, they really do not warn you what to expect and i can tell you those stones were HOT HOT HOT, but once the burning had stopped it was a very relaxing exprience.
And then my favourite thing of the day the facial, gentle pressure very relaxing, in fact i woke myself up snoring twice.........................
Then we had some hot chocolate................... and the day was finished, It was one of the most relaxing days i have ever spent, but for me what made it even more special was the company.............
It will be awhile before i can afford to do this again.......... but what an experience.........
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Somedays my boss is too much
Today was one of those days................. when my boss really got on my nerves, and it was really hard to have warm Christian thoughts, and to bless him was really not something that readily came to mind, in fact that was really on my mind, was a large cement truck, or perhaps a hit man, or perhaps some wrong medication or perhaps..................the man is sick.
He will almost do anything to make people unhappy, without exaggerating he must have gone through at least 50 people in the 15 years that i have worked with him, they really do not stay beyond a few months because by then they have had enough, he has a temp for six month and still will not take them on permanently ........ can you believe because they are not doing the job properly so they leave for a permanent job, and so the process is repeated time and time again. Top management has not noticed this problem, or maybe they don't want to notice.
I am not sure whether all Muslims are like him, but he really gives Muslims a bad name he is vindictive, petty, unrealistic and these are his good attributes.
For the first time in 5 years i was off sick i left on the Wednesday at 2 pm and then was booked off for the next two days, i was REALLY sick, i have only had 8 days sick in 10 years so i am not someone who takes a lot of time off work, he actually had the computer guy check what time i left to see if i should put in a half days sick leave, do you even get half days sick leave........me............... i am at work just after 7 am most days, don't take lunch, do at least three hours overtime most weekends, and am always at work............. if anyone wants anything they always phone me, because i am always at me desk............. the man is sick............
It is only through prayer and the grace of God that i have managed to stay working with him for 15 years, in the beginning it was really hard, but a really good friend, kind, of gave me a kick in the pants and told me to leave or find a way to put up with it, and thats what i did, and how i did that was when he asked for something i dropped what i was doing and gave it to him immediately........it is still a big joke in the office, for him it is just the power thing, it is the being in control...............
For many years i was always able to go and vent in the MD's office in confidence i really didn't want him to do anything, and he certainly could not speak to my boss about it because then he would have made my life a living hell, so he listened gave me tea and tissues and then gave me a pep talk and i could face the world of the dreaded boss from hell.
Our most recent MD certainly does not have tact as a second , third or fourth name for that matter. So now i have to find another way to vent, and apart form bending the ear of my "bestest" friend in the whole world......... i think blogging will have to do..........
And this is what got my blood pressure boiling today, my cheeks were tomato red and i am sure at sometime there was steam coming out of my ears, in fact i though that i was going to self combust, and all that would be left would be smoke coming out of my shoes............... my Five Hundred Rand shoes.........
The MD asked me some time ago to set up an evaluation test, for someone in my department that he wants to promote, my boss phones me today and asks me whether i knew about it, of course i said yes, i had organised it................ well you would have thought that i had sold a state secret. ................ FIRST TIME
Then he phoned, now you need to understand i have identicall on my phone so i can see when he is phoning so my heart sinks into my shoes, and i am already waiting for a fight......... sometimes i put him on silent praying that he will just go away but then he just leaves a message, and actually times how long is takes me to phone him back...................... he asked whether i knew that a certain member of my staff had gone to the MD with a query, i did know because that was the only person who could give us an answer, of course being the smart tactful MD that he is, guess where he went straight to my boss, now by boss has told this individual on more than one occassion, not to bother him but to bring all queries to me......... i could not sort out this query and so refered him to the operations manager who was again not available, then to the divisional director who would not remember what his only name was, if it was not on all the notes on his desk pad, and so the MD was the next place of call...............and so the cycle continues, by now my boss was so mad, that you would have thought that i had blown up the temple at Mecca...................................SECOND TIME.
Then he phoned again, i had sent some documents up to him for coding...............i have been doing this for 15 years the less i need to talk to him the better i like it, now he wants me rather to go up myself, because we need to communicate more...................... THIRD TIME.
I have a meeting with him every Friday and i have to prepare myself mentally for this meeting, and now he wants to see me more often ................ what am i going to do................................
I suppose that i am blessed i have a job.................................... well that's a start and with God's grace i will get through it again, and one day.................. who knows "beep beep."....... taht cement truck could still be an option.
He will almost do anything to make people unhappy, without exaggerating he must have gone through at least 50 people in the 15 years that i have worked with him, they really do not stay beyond a few months because by then they have had enough, he has a temp for six month and still will not take them on permanently ........ can you believe because they are not doing the job properly so they leave for a permanent job, and so the process is repeated time and time again. Top management has not noticed this problem, or maybe they don't want to notice.
I am not sure whether all Muslims are like him, but he really gives Muslims a bad name he is vindictive, petty, unrealistic and these are his good attributes.
For the first time in 5 years i was off sick i left on the Wednesday at 2 pm and then was booked off for the next two days, i was REALLY sick, i have only had 8 days sick in 10 years so i am not someone who takes a lot of time off work, he actually had the computer guy check what time i left to see if i should put in a half days sick leave, do you even get half days sick leave........me............... i am at work just after 7 am most days, don't take lunch, do at least three hours overtime most weekends, and am always at work............. if anyone wants anything they always phone me, because i am always at me desk............. the man is sick............
It is only through prayer and the grace of God that i have managed to stay working with him for 15 years, in the beginning it was really hard, but a really good friend, kind, of gave me a kick in the pants and told me to leave or find a way to put up with it, and thats what i did, and how i did that was when he asked for something i dropped what i was doing and gave it to him immediately........it is still a big joke in the office, for him it is just the power thing, it is the being in control...............
For many years i was always able to go and vent in the MD's office in confidence i really didn't want him to do anything, and he certainly could not speak to my boss about it because then he would have made my life a living hell, so he listened gave me tea and tissues and then gave me a pep talk and i could face the world of the dreaded boss from hell.
Our most recent MD certainly does not have tact as a second , third or fourth name for that matter. So now i have to find another way to vent, and apart form bending the ear of my "bestest" friend in the whole world......... i think blogging will have to do..........
And this is what got my blood pressure boiling today, my cheeks were tomato red and i am sure at sometime there was steam coming out of my ears, in fact i though that i was going to self combust, and all that would be left would be smoke coming out of my shoes............... my Five Hundred Rand shoes.........
The MD asked me some time ago to set up an evaluation test, for someone in my department that he wants to promote, my boss phones me today and asks me whether i knew about it, of course i said yes, i had organised it................ well you would have thought that i had sold a state secret. ................ FIRST TIME
Then he phoned, now you need to understand i have identicall on my phone so i can see when he is phoning so my heart sinks into my shoes, and i am already waiting for a fight......... sometimes i put him on silent praying that he will just go away but then he just leaves a message, and actually times how long is takes me to phone him back...................... he asked whether i knew that a certain member of my staff had gone to the MD with a query, i did know because that was the only person who could give us an answer, of course being the smart tactful MD that he is, guess where he went straight to my boss, now by boss has told this individual on more than one occassion, not to bother him but to bring all queries to me......... i could not sort out this query and so refered him to the operations manager who was again not available, then to the divisional director who would not remember what his only name was, if it was not on all the notes on his desk pad, and so the MD was the next place of call...............and so the cycle continues, by now my boss was so mad, that you would have thought that i had blown up the temple at Mecca...................................SECOND TIME.
Then he phoned again, i had sent some documents up to him for coding...............i have been doing this for 15 years the less i need to talk to him the better i like it, now he wants me rather to go up myself, because we need to communicate more...................... THIRD TIME.
I have a meeting with him every Friday and i have to prepare myself mentally for this meeting, and now he wants to see me more often ................ what am i going to do................................
I suppose that i am blessed i have a job.................................... well that's a start and with God's grace i will get through it again, and one day.................. who knows "beep beep."....... taht cement truck could still be an option.
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Peroni and the bird
About 4 months ago, i got home from work one day and our Labrador Levy had found a kitten, it was in a really sorry state, its eyes were all gundged up, it was full of flees, it was so thin, and wet through because Levy had been trying to lick it to death.
Well off to the vet we went, and after injections and medicines, and flea powder and antibiotics, we had a new cat. Which for a while was just called cat because we could not agree on a name.
This little kitten was wild it was about 2 weeks before you could pick it up without it trying to attack you, and if you just walked past it, it would hiss at you and then dive for cover. But as the weeks went past it learnt to accept us, and its name became Peroni. What was amazing to see was the bond between Levy and Peroni, Peroni would only sleep curled up next to Levy, and it would follow Levy around like a small child were follow a bigger brother and sister. If Peroni got locked out at night by accident, Levy would wake me up to go and let him in, it was really amazing to see.
About three weeks ago Peroni was sick so off to the vet we went again, we thought it was because he had been catching birds the vet assured us that he was still to young to catch birds.............. and that it must have been our other cat ............... ha ha .............. he lied.
I arrived home last night to a bathroom that looked like the chainsaw murdered had been let loose in it, i never realised that one bird had so many feathers, it was wall to wall feathers, the side of the bath was covered in blood where the poor bird had obviously tried to escape at the beginning of the masacre................. there was pieces of bird all over the bath room as my daughter was helping me clean up the mess she assured me that it had not been there five minutes before i got home.............. i wonder, the poor thing still had bird seed in its stomach, the sad part is i put out the bird seed. So this weekend it is off to the pet shop to get a collar with a bell on so that the bird at least has a fighting chance.
I must feel guilty about feeding the birds, it is almost like i am luring them to their death, and i am part of this awful murdering rampage the cat Peroni went on....................
Well off to the vet we went, and after injections and medicines, and flea powder and antibiotics, we had a new cat. Which for a while was just called cat because we could not agree on a name.
This little kitten was wild it was about 2 weeks before you could pick it up without it trying to attack you, and if you just walked past it, it would hiss at you and then dive for cover. But as the weeks went past it learnt to accept us, and its name became Peroni. What was amazing to see was the bond between Levy and Peroni, Peroni would only sleep curled up next to Levy, and it would follow Levy around like a small child were follow a bigger brother and sister. If Peroni got locked out at night by accident, Levy would wake me up to go and let him in, it was really amazing to see.
About three weeks ago Peroni was sick so off to the vet we went again, we thought it was because he had been catching birds the vet assured us that he was still to young to catch birds.............. and that it must have been our other cat ............... ha ha .............. he lied.
I arrived home last night to a bathroom that looked like the chainsaw murdered had been let loose in it, i never realised that one bird had so many feathers, it was wall to wall feathers, the side of the bath was covered in blood where the poor bird had obviously tried to escape at the beginning of the masacre................. there was pieces of bird all over the bath room as my daughter was helping me clean up the mess she assured me that it had not been there five minutes before i got home.............. i wonder, the poor thing still had bird seed in its stomach, the sad part is i put out the bird seed. So this weekend it is off to the pet shop to get a collar with a bell on so that the bird at least has a fighting chance.
I must feel guilty about feeding the birds, it is almost like i am luring them to their death, and i am part of this awful murdering rampage the cat Peroni went on....................
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Master of my own life
Today was one of those days which just started off right, I spent some quality time with my Lord this morning and just know that i really connected, i had a peaceful quiet journey into work, just praising the Lord for his amazing creation, and the beauty of the season, the weather was cold the wind was blowing, the sky was grey, really unusual for a South African winter, as are skies are normally always bright blue even when it is cold. But in someway is was just comforting, the stillness and darkness of the morning.
It made me want to sit by a roaring fire, with a glass of wine and with someone who i could feel free to share my deepest secrets with, that "someone" is not in my life right now, but i know that he will be, that it is my right to have someone who will always just be there for me.
I realised that my joy depends on me, and i cannot hold anyone else accountable for how i feel. If i allow someone to bring me down, then i have given then power over me, and then that gives them the ability to hurt me.
I am so fortunate, no i am so blessed to have so many really good friends, who i know will always be there for me, should i ever need a shoulder to cry on, someone to share coffee with as i plot someones demise, someone to laugh at "wind" jokes with, someone to share a meal with, i know that i could never be lonely, because i have all these people who i care about and who care about me.
Then i realised that is really what life is all about it is not about the car you drive, the house you live in the amount of money you have in your bank account, it is about how many people in your contacts on your cell phone that you can really call friend.
As a child i was tall, skinny and very shy, i was very "nerdy" i was a prefect, a junior town councillor, but never one of the in crowd, never one of those that people missed if you were not there, never visible, if i look at my own daughters they are just so confident, and are able to talk to anyone, of any age or any race or any culture, i am not sure at what point in time, i began to change, at what point i began to like who i was, began to hold my head up high and be noticed, who would have thought just a few years ago that i would be standing up in front of 40 to 60 people and giving motivational messages, and i know that this is because my friends saw in me, something that i could not see, in fact something that i still cannot see, they encouraged me when i doubted myself.
To those people i call friends thank you for being in my life, thank you for listening, thank you for being someone i can call friend........................
It made me want to sit by a roaring fire, with a glass of wine and with someone who i could feel free to share my deepest secrets with, that "someone" is not in my life right now, but i know that he will be, that it is my right to have someone who will always just be there for me.
I realised that my joy depends on me, and i cannot hold anyone else accountable for how i feel. If i allow someone to bring me down, then i have given then power over me, and then that gives them the ability to hurt me.
I am so fortunate, no i am so blessed to have so many really good friends, who i know will always be there for me, should i ever need a shoulder to cry on, someone to share coffee with as i plot someones demise, someone to laugh at "wind" jokes with, someone to share a meal with, i know that i could never be lonely, because i have all these people who i care about and who care about me.
Then i realised that is really what life is all about it is not about the car you drive, the house you live in the amount of money you have in your bank account, it is about how many people in your contacts on your cell phone that you can really call friend.
As a child i was tall, skinny and very shy, i was very "nerdy" i was a prefect, a junior town councillor, but never one of the in crowd, never one of those that people missed if you were not there, never visible, if i look at my own daughters they are just so confident, and are able to talk to anyone, of any age or any race or any culture, i am not sure at what point in time, i began to change, at what point i began to like who i was, began to hold my head up high and be noticed, who would have thought just a few years ago that i would be standing up in front of 40 to 60 people and giving motivational messages, and i know that this is because my friends saw in me, something that i could not see, in fact something that i still cannot see, they encouraged me when i doubted myself.
To those people i call friends thank you for being in my life, thank you for listening, thank you for being someone i can call friend........................
Monday, June 8, 2009
Winter is here
I just live winter i love the cold mornings and the cold evenings. i love the soups and the cottage pies and the stews. I love the fact that you can wear long sleeves and jackets.
Our minister always says that we are born in a place for a reason, and i was born in England because i enjoy the cold, even after 41 years in South Africa i still don't enjoy the heat.
I feel like a water fountain in summer and overheat at the drop of a hat, then get bright red cheeks like only the British can, and spend most of summer looking like a giant red wet tomatoe.
The worst time for me is Christmas because it is never feels like Christmas my first Christmas's were cold with fires in the fireplace treacle toffee and roasted chestnuts, and then off we would go to Gran for Christmas dinner, all i remember about that is the gravy was like a jelly and you would have to fish for your food because Gran never did anything in half measures
so you got a good dollop of this stuff she called gravy.........................
We would play outside, not in the snow very often but i do remember a white Christmas, i remember my Dad waking us all up and outside we went to a world of white.
Braai's for Christmas just don't do it for me...................
But the winter reminds me of our lives how this is the time to reflect on what we have done in the past year, and make plans to better what we have done in the year ahead, the hope of better things to come, the chance of new beginnings, and how the coldness of our hearts can florish and bloom come the spring. How even though our relationships have grown cold and seem dead, that in God all things are possible, and maybe just maybe if we change ourselves then God will make the changes in our partner, maybe not all the changes we want, but changes that our partners can make to make our lives better together, that is what i am praying for because right now my marraige is dead and cold, and it is only the promise of a spring that keeps me going....................
Our minister always says that we are born in a place for a reason, and i was born in England because i enjoy the cold, even after 41 years in South Africa i still don't enjoy the heat.
I feel like a water fountain in summer and overheat at the drop of a hat, then get bright red cheeks like only the British can, and spend most of summer looking like a giant red wet tomatoe.
The worst time for me is Christmas because it is never feels like Christmas my first Christmas's were cold with fires in the fireplace treacle toffee and roasted chestnuts, and then off we would go to Gran for Christmas dinner, all i remember about that is the gravy was like a jelly and you would have to fish for your food because Gran never did anything in half measures
so you got a good dollop of this stuff she called gravy.........................
We would play outside, not in the snow very often but i do remember a white Christmas, i remember my Dad waking us all up and outside we went to a world of white.
Braai's for Christmas just don't do it for me...................
But the winter reminds me of our lives how this is the time to reflect on what we have done in the past year, and make plans to better what we have done in the year ahead, the hope of better things to come, the chance of new beginnings, and how the coldness of our hearts can florish and bloom come the spring. How even though our relationships have grown cold and seem dead, that in God all things are possible, and maybe just maybe if we change ourselves then God will make the changes in our partner, maybe not all the changes we want, but changes that our partners can make to make our lives better together, that is what i am praying for because right now my marraige is dead and cold, and it is only the promise of a spring that keeps me going....................
Sunday, June 7, 2009
Sunday, I love Sundays
I realised in my quiet time this morning how God answered my prayers, last week i was saying how i would love to have someone give me flowers, well this weekend i got two bunches, the first from all my friends at work, because i have been sick and away from work for ONE DAY......... they love me what can i say, and the second bunch from my prayer buddy, who when we got together for our prayer hour brought me the most unusual flowers, which just happen to look great in my dining room, it was only this morning that i realised they were an answer to a prayer, God loves me and gave me a gift to show me I am on the right path............... i have been very uncertain about a lot of things lately, but the gift of these flowers show me that the Lord is watching over me and i am doing something right.
I woke up this morning and DECIDED that i was tired of feeling sick, so told myself i was not sick, i got up went to church amazing service our minister is back, and as usual the message was great, i helped with the coffee shop after the first and second services, i forgot how many dishes there were, i never realised our congregation was so big, at one point i was convinced that the person who was supposed to packing the dishes away was giving me them to wash again and again and again and again........................................... so much for the manicure that i had yesterday, my hand are back to old and rough, i think i should invest in some gloves, because i looks like there will be quite a lot of dishes in my future, next week a few of us are organising a 21st for 60 people, so it will be more dishes, i tried to convince them to use my camping trick, which is putting a paper plate on top of the normal plate and then you don't have to wash the plates, well i must say that was not received very well, so i suppose it is going to be dishes, dishes , dishes next weekend.
What i cannot believe is that "helps" is not one of my gifts, "leadership" is one so maybe it is time to delegate can you do that in church...........................
I woke up this morning and DECIDED that i was tired of feeling sick, so told myself i was not sick, i got up went to church amazing service our minister is back, and as usual the message was great, i helped with the coffee shop after the first and second services, i forgot how many dishes there were, i never realised our congregation was so big, at one point i was convinced that the person who was supposed to packing the dishes away was giving me them to wash again and again and again and again........................................... so much for the manicure that i had yesterday, my hand are back to old and rough, i think i should invest in some gloves, because i looks like there will be quite a lot of dishes in my future, next week a few of us are organising a 21st for 60 people, so it will be more dishes, i tried to convince them to use my camping trick, which is putting a paper plate on top of the normal plate and then you don't have to wash the plates, well i must say that was not received very well, so i suppose it is going to be dishes, dishes , dishes next weekend.
What i cannot believe is that "helps" is not one of my gifts, "leadership" is one so maybe it is time to delegate can you do that in church...........................
Saturday, June 6, 2009
Sick, sick of being sick
I cannot believe this but i have been sick again, after my gym on Monday night, Tuesday morning i started with a sore throat and ears, so after work i made a detour past the chemist and picked up what i thought would be the end to all my problems. Strepsils for my throat, ACC 200 for building me up, Med lemon, for taking away aches and pains and fever and relieving all the symptoms of colds and flu............... ha ha .................. and then the generic medicines of cataflan, whatever that is called because you cannot get cataflan without a prescription from the doctor, took them all after supper and off to bed i went, Wednesday morning...................... nothing had changed, so Wednesday evening i tried again......................Thursday morning nothing changed, i was convinced by Thursday evening i would be back to normal................nothing changed. Friday morning i got up went to the doctor who gave me an injection and all i can say is that it was not in my arm, and i now have trouble sitting............................. but by the end of the day i was feeling much better. I am not sure how you are supposed to be when you are feeling sick, i normally have pain, like headache or a broken wrist or a kidney stone, real pain, but this aching bones and being miserable because that is how you feel just does not work for me, you actually have to sit and do nothing because you are actually too sick to do anything, a whole new concept for me. By the time i had got to the doctor, i was really bad, the self medication had left me with a legacy caused by my own stupidity................ the upset stomach .......................... on top of everything else. The doctor tells me to drink black tea, and eat dry marie biscuits and cream crackers for 24 hours, i told him i came to see him to feel better, and now he makes me feel worse, he tells me its called "tough love." He really has a weird sense of humour, or is that humour maybe he is just sadistic or maybe.................... I knew i must be really really sick when i got a whole big bag of medicine, you see only people who are really really sick get such a big bag of medicing, so am going to enjoy being miserable for a while, everyone else does it, i have given myself today and then tomorrow i will be back to normal......................... well as normal as i can be.................................
Monday, June 1, 2009
Back to the gym
After months of finding every excuse possible, tonight i ran out of excuses so back to the gym i went, i used to go 3/4 times a week, but over the past 18 months with my life full of "things" to do i have not been. Well talk about unfit, i just walked the stairs to get to the gym and already my heart rate was up, my daughter was there and i started with something easy the bike, i used to spin for 2 hours every Saturday morning with no problem at all tonight, well after 10 minutes on level 1, which for those who don't know is the easiest level, my legs were on fire and i decide to try the stepping machine, after 3 minutes on level 1 i had, had enough i used to do 15 minutes no problem, i tried the rowing machine and was able to row for 15 minutes, and then back to the bike for another 10 minutes, my legs felt like jelly when i got up, and walking down the stairs was a whole new experience, thank goodness there was a wall which i could slide down to get back to my car. On arriving home the house was in chaos, my youngest daughter was starving, and my husband was on his way out, to who knows where and did not have time to eat, strange how they are just not capable of making there own food, i think i have spoilt them to much so this is where i will have to make some changes, tomorrow night back to the gym for me.............................
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)