Men are clams, Woman are crowbars

A friend of mine was at the book shop the other day, and bought a book called, Men are clams, Woman are crowbars written by David Clarke, a few days into the book she decided that i also needed to read the book, in line with the knowledge that i had shared with her, that i was on a mission to change myself and in so doing MAYBE is some small way after 30 years of marraige i might in some SMALL miniscular way change my husband, so on Wednesday evening I started the book.
Well today i can confess that i wish i had a crowbar and i wish my husband was a clam.
It started yesterday evening for some reason only know to himself, he got a bee in his bonnet and then his mood got progressively worse as the weekend progressed.
I think the fact that he had stood a few times in the waste product of our labrador Levy had quite a lot to do with it, but icannot be 100 % sure just yet.
It is the task of my youngest daughter to remove this waste product from the yard, but at 16 she is far too busy looking at herself in the mirror, changing her clothes, and conversing in some foreign language that i still hope to be able to understand one day, she assures me that it is English, but with words like sharp, lets bounce and sshweet in the conversation it is completely unintelligible, when she is not on the phone she a spends the rest of her days thinking of new ways to drive me, her father and her sister into the mental assylum, I am sure that she is after the inheritance, so that she can continue to sleep late, and keep herself busy doing nothing for the rest of her life, anyway that is another story back to the waste product............
On my way to a meeting this afternoon, my husbands parting words, were far from words of endearment or words of longing for me in my absence his words were, that if he get any more dog "doing" on his shoe he is going to clean it off on my daughters bed.
I have to admit it was with some trepedation that i returned home this evening, in fact i put it off for as long as i could, having still not secured myself a crowbar.......
My husband had left the gate open hoping i am sure that Levy our dog would run away, but Levy was to smart for that, he just waited around the corner for me to come home, and my daughters room ......... looked like hurricane Katrina had gone through it, but had no foreign smearings anyway, and I kept my cool, and said nothing, this changing myself is really going to be much more difficult than i thought................