traffic, traffic, traffic

Today i had the misfortune of having to go into the big bad city, now the trip is 53 km, so in a perfect world, it should take me ............what.......... about 35 minutes..........HA.........HAHA
137 minutes later, i arrived at my destination.
In effect you take one road and then off, the off ramp, turn right and there you are easy peasy as the say on the advert...........Ha. They decided today to make a 4 lane highway 1 lane, yes, 1 lane " obviously some one forgot to take their Rittelin Pill this morning" so i stayed off the highway and went the "scenic" route.
My first adventure was through Germiston town, papers, paper and more papers, rats as big as cats fighting in the streets for some waste matter which i am sure was thrown out of one of the flats above, the people are so poor in Germiston that not a single car has indicators, everytime you are behind someone, they decide that they in fact want to go right, and you have to "patiently" wait for the oncoming traffic to stop, well, that is the idea, but I discovered today that more people in Germiston go through a red robot than green one's..................
Then it was through Primrose up through Fishers Hill, where i had my next revelation, people cannot go around corners on their own side of the road, they constantly go over into the oncoming traffic, and there is lots of horns going, lots of strange finger gestures, and i am sure from the blue smoke coming out of most of the cars a whole lot of swearing going on in there, i however had Josh Groben, so was quite relaxed, I had given myself 2 hours to get to my appointment so the world was good.
Then it was throught the 160 traffic lights in Edenvale, and i was almost back on the highway, I did not realise than when the sign said choose your lane NOW it meant right NOW, so ended up in the wrong lane, and on my way to............. not sure think it was Kempton Park, so no problem i did an illegal U turn, did i say illegal, i meant................ well if the taxis can do it why can't i....... at the next intersection.
Back on the highway and i was there 137 minutes later, the meeting took 1 hour and 15 minutes and i was back on the road.
Everything in reverse........................ and 115 minutes later i was back in the safety of my own office having blessed 256 people on my travels...............